blight

I’m following a couple with a baby and i see we’re going into a large ‘official’ looking building. Inside i realize it’s a hospital. I’m not sure why i’ve come here but i keep following the couple with the baby. The ?baby is ill and needs treatment. While i’m waiting with the parents in the exam room i look at a place on my inner/upper arm that’s like a circular track covered with a strip of skin. It’s apparently not abnormal and everyone has this feature on their body. I examine the track under the skin. There are four marks at North, South, East, and West. Each of the marks looks like five tiny holes. They’re ducts of some kind, like tear ducts. On my left arm they all look fine and i examine the same on my right arm. The marks are the same on my right arm but one of the ducts is wrong. It’s about the size of a ladybug and sort of looks like one too. It’s round and red with some raised darker brown spots and covered with tufts of course hair. It reminds me of a caterpillar bit from my Magic Caterpillar dream i had a few weeks ago. I touch it and it’s very hard but doesn’t hurt and i realize immediately that it’s cancer. I show the nurse that’s tending to the baby and she takes one look and then tells me to wait where i am while she gets a doctor. She knows that it’s cancer too. I look at the nodule again and wonder how i could have missed it for so long that it grew to be the size of a ladybug. When the nurse returns with the doctor everything becomes chaotic but they seem to know exactly what to do. I tell the doctor “i knew it was cancer because it’s hard but it doesn’t hurt” and i woke up.

Inspector in Black

I’m in my bedroom in my house but when it was on Castlemill. My bedroom is arranged like it was then too. Bed in the corner between the windows, my stereo under the front-facing window. The house really is a castle or fortress though, and my room is many, many feet above the ground. Mike is lounging on my bed and i’m playing LP’s on a turntable. Something catches my eye and i look up and out the window and a man in black is looking in. It shocks and scares me because we’re far too high for anybody to be looking in the window. By the time i turn to Mike to say something and turn back, the man is gone. I look out the window and far below see the man in black on the ground with some surveying type gadgets and a short ladder. In some interlude that i can’t remember now i’m being informed that the man in black is an inspector checking out the house because it’s being sold and he’s verifying that it’s sturdy and intact and there aren’t cracks in the walls. I give Mike an energy drink for the drive to WV because i want to be sure he and Scott get there safely but he drinks it down right then. I ask him why he drank it when he wasn’t leaving until tomorrow and was a little put out even though i had more to give him. He gave me some vague Mike response and started freaking out that he wouldn’t be able to go to sleep but i assured him it was early enough that it would wear off by the time he wanted to sleep. A movement catches my eye again and it’s the man in black looking in my OTHER window. As soon as i see him he ducks down to avoid being seen. Now i’m pissed because it’s dusk outside and if he’s an inspector he shouldn’t be looking for flaws in the dark. My perspective changes now like i’m a bird in a tall tree looking directly across at my bedroom. I can see the brickwork on the outside of the house. It’s ornate and in a repeating pattern of equal sided crosses, like big plus signs. The brick is very old like you see on really old buildings in London. There’s some other man-made structure on the lawn. I can’t see it now that i’m awake but it was also made of rocks and i remember being under the impression that it was related to something holy. It might’ve been a stone well. That feels right. I think my house is maybe a church? Sanctuary? Camelot! Yes. Arthur’s castle. I remember now it was Merlin who told me that the man in black was an inspector. I live in King Arthur’s castle? If my room was round it WOULD be like turret. I never thought of that before. No idea what it signifies but i have a sudden urge to re-read The Once and Future King. ?

My bedroom – Comfort, familiarity
Castle, sturdy well-made brick walls – Protection, safety
Feeding a friend an energy drink - ? my energy is dependent upon the state of my friendships?
Surveyor / Man in black - ? Judgement? Like people judging me in 'low light', not getting a true picture of me and i resent it?
Crosses and ‘holy water’ Wells – in tarot language wands and cups maybe? My spiritual center?

Separation of work and dreams

Work dream. I’d been keeping a lot of my records (LP’s and 45’s) at work on and in my desk and bookshelf. I’ve come in today and all my records are gone. All of the personal stuff that i kept in my space was just gone. The account director came walking up to me with her predator smile and said “Our lawyers have advised us that anything an employer has at work belongs to the corporation and I have taken your record collection. It will be returned to you when you leave.” I was SO mad. It was all my Beatles collection and i wanted it back immediately. I went to my facebook and posted a request for advice from any of my lawyer friends on the legality of that action because i didn’t believe the director for one minute.

Really mad. Ugh. Then i woke up and didn’t know what day it is and was thinking i didn’t have to work today. *&%#! I know what prompted the dream. The monthly account meeting was held yesterday. I haven’t been to one in years. Not since the management team held forth with a thirty minute discussion on what type of footwear is appropriate for the women on the account to wear, complete with photocopies of appropriate and inappropriate styles. Yesterday a group of my co-workers dialed in to listen and i couldn’t help but overhear some of it.

Account meeting agenda starts with all the employee birthdays for the current month. Then all the employee anniversaries for the month and the years served. Then a quiz to see who can add up the total of the years served for all the employees that had an anniversary. That usually takes up the first hour. Then some other bullshit, usually not very important that creates more questions than providing useful information. Then the reading of employee questions that have been submitted anonymously. I was between music on my ipod and accidentally heard one of the questions and my blood boiled. Some of these people are so incredibly petty and unprofessional that it’s a wonder to me that can dress themselves. Idiots. So i’m sure that’s what made me have an angry dream.

Heh. I’m STILL pissed. Me need to wake the hell up!

News of the day invading my dreams.

In the dream, i’m inside a large ship. It’s huge - like a space station maybe, but rides near the ground. It’s a huge tank on a mission to support the ground troops that are on a mission to clear out the ‘bad’ people. The tension inside the ship is very high. I can see the ground troops spread out under the ship (hover tank?) and on either side. They’re wearing full body armor and look like black plastic toy soldiers creeping along with the ship. My guide/companion (?Fitz maybe) tells me we’re going to take a road vehicle out and scout on ahead of the ground troops and we get in a large black pickup truck and take off going really fast. We’re on a road but it’s very dusty and obviously hasn’t been used in a long time. The scene is very apocalyptic. We approach the outskirts of the remains of a city and begin to see people. I’m very afraid – these are the ones that our ground troops have been ordered to annihilate and i know that they’re very dangerous even though they just look like wild dirty humans. We turn around and go flying back to the ship so the guide can tell our leader what we’ll encounter ahead. From inside the safety of the ship, i’m fearful. I argue with the soldier’s leader that fighting against those scavengers will be useless and a lot of soldiers are going to be killed. I want him to call the soldiers in to board the ship with us and see what the scavengers will do.

I’m in a big garage like place where boats are lined up in slips. The man who is taking me through the place tells me that these boats all need some kind of repair or maintenance. Assuming that these boats are floating in water, i tell him that i could maybe help with scraping off barnacles if the boats are lifted up. He explains that the boats i’m looking at are ‘dry-docked’ and need to have other kinds of repairs. We approach a boat that has a few guys doing some work on it and i see that they’re replacing metal chrome strips on the edges and seams of the boat.


Exhausting dreams. Afghanistan. Health Care Reform.

Paisley bargains

I’m in the mall i go to sometimes in dreams and looking through the sales rack of last summer’s stuff. It’s all marked down and very reasonably priced. I’m looking for a pair of shorts and find a pair i like so take them into the dressing room to try them on. The dressing room is made completely of wood. Wood floors and doors and benches. It reminds me of the public showers i used as a child when my family would go camping in National Park campgrounds. The shorts fit perfectly and look really good on me. They’re Bermuda shorts but made of very fine silk. The pattern is interesting – sort of olive colored leaves in paisley swirls on a cream colored background. There are flecks of other colors that i like. They have some kind of odd inward turning cuff which keeps falling out. That ruins those particular shorts for me and i guess that’s probably why they never sold. I do like the style though so i put them back on the hanger and decide to take them to another store that’s downstairs from the one i’m in to see if i can find the same style but in a sturdier more durable material. I wonder if the first store will arrest me if i leave the store with their merchandise but they don’t. The other store downstairs is one i’ve been to before in dreams. There are rows and rows of clothing in several rooms. Two rows on every wall – one high and one low. I don’t want to look at all the clothes so i ask the salesman if he could tell me if he knows whether or not they have something along the lines of what i seek. He shows me some denim shorts that are similar in style but they’re sized for a child and i tell him i would definitely have to have grown up size and he tells me they don’t have any so i go back to the first store and put the shorts back on the rack and continue going to where ever it was i was headed when i got sidetracked by the sales rack.

[It seems like i never find anything i want in that mall. I should go and shop somewhere else in my dreams.]

I assume that the mall represents my 'world' and maybe i should just stop shopping off the sales rack looking for a bargain if i seriously want to find something of value (fine silk) that will last (durable) and is made for a woman, not a child. The dressing room and the pattern of the shorts represents the nature of my desire? Natural (wood), calm or peaceful ('olive' leaves) and traditional yet funky (paisley)? Dunno. Could be. Will ponder.

the Map is not the Journey

In the dream, i’m moving back to Pacifica. Dad is trying to talk me out of going back. My new place is actually two connected motel rooms so i have a key for each of the doors. I’m concerned that even if the doors are locked the locks won’t hold and people will come and go as they please and steal my stuff.

This is recurring theme in my dreams – locked doors that don’t really lock, moving back and forth between Pacifica and Raleigh. I think this dream must’ve been prompted by watching How To Be starring Robert Pattison. It was Robert Pattison movie day for Cathy and Scott and Mike and i happened to be there… we also watched Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire followed/finished by Twilight. I didn’t like Twilight much but How To Be was one of those unknown art house type films that i kinda like. But anyways, the role RP played reminded me so much of the youngest child of the family i lived with in Cali for the first few months. Stu was a few years younger than me so probably sixteen or so. Nice kid but i don’t think he stood much of a chance in life being the last of eight children of an alcoholic father and a totally disinterested mother. He was handsome but didn’t seem to have any direction or dreams. When i lived with them, i lived in a camping trailer in the driveway. It took me several days to clean it up and make it habitable but after i finished, Stu used to come in there and chill with me probably because it was the only clean place on the property. The house was a horror. When i first moved there every dish in the house was dirty and in the sink. All the doors had been removed from the cupboard and were propped up against the wall by the refrigerator. Somebody in the house had decided to paint but never got past removing the doors and some of the paint from the walls. I cleaned out every empty cabinet then washed every dish and put it away. Some of the plates had been in the sink so long that spiders had nested in them and laid eggs. I’d never before and have never since seen anything like that place. All the time i lived with them i would keep the kitchen clean as a kind of payment for them letting me live there and because i wanted to be able to use the kitchen too. The garage where the big sink was that i’d sometimes use to wash my hair (because the bathroom was so disgusting) and the washer and dryer. It was a big garage and easily would’ve held two large cars but instead, it was just another place for them to store shit. The floor was covered with clothes. Years of clothes. Clothes that had been rendered into a sort of strange carpet because of years of the washing machine overflowing, soaking the floor, then drying and having new layers of clothes added. I bet it was twenty years worth of rubbish. Amazing. Their house had once been a nice enough house and with property values what they were then and what they still are now, that house was worth a fortune. Sad. The living room had wood floors but those had been torn up and were leaning up against the wall next to an old decaying piano. Somebody had had an idea to refinish the floor but never got past tearing up the floor. That was the first alcoholic (and family of an alcoholic) i’d ever known. Pitiful. The dad would always refer to me as “my favorite daughter” and would always ask for me to come pick him up from whichever local tavern he happened to get smashed at after his day of working as a limousine driver to the stars. The three grown daughters that lived in the house with him weren’t too happy with me; being his favorite ‘daughter’ but they didn’t do a damned thing around that house. Three grown daughters, a high-school aged son, a working mother and a working father and not one of them could be bothered to clean up after themselves. Sometimes i bury away how truly awful an experience that was but apparently seeing How To Be unlocked that floodgate. Oh. The cats. The dad would often bring home animals. The cats didn’t have a sandbox so they just went to the bathroom on the exposed floor of the living room. One time he brought this really cute little dog home. It was snowy white, maybe a Maltese mix. Obviously somebody’s beloved pet. But the dad insisted it was a stray and the dog stayed at the house for several weeks before somehow the dog’s owner got word that their dog was living a few streets away. The dad lied about everything. That was something else new to me. The daughter i moved to Pacifica was exactly like him. I still have never understood why people lie just to lie. I attributed it to the alcohol addiction. Phew. A dream of motel rooms with two keys unlocked some really bad memories. But it’s true that what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger. Who i am today is certainly influenced by my first experience away from home. I hope Stu made it out alive and has had a good life. It never was his fault, none of it.

Oh. The locks. I almost forgot about that. How people would come in to the trailer in the middle of the night when i was sleeping because the lock wouldn’t always hold. Sometimes it would be Robin or sometimes one of her male friends. Usually they were drunk and i was sober so i could talk them into going home so i could sleep to get up and go to school the next morning. It’s unsettling to think about. How close i came to being raped so many times. Luckily i have a natural gift with beasts and low-IQ people. That and my angels. They definitely earned their wings many times over during that time in my life. I feel soul sick with the remembering.

EC at the animal amphitheatre

I'm attending an outdoor concert in a large open theatre (like the Greek in Berkeley). As i'm walking up some stone steps i see Eric Clapton standing at the top of some aluminum type bleachers. The 'bowl' is filled with people sitting on blankets on the grass and more aluminum bleachers behind them, filled with people. My goal is to get as close to the top as i can without being in the crowd so i can hear without distraction. I look further up the steps and see a large white tiger coming down the steps towards me and i freeze. It steps into the grassy area behind the 'stage' bleacher. I continue climbing, my goal is to get to a hedge that separates the 'stage' from the place where the tiger went. Before i can take another step though, another large cat - i think it's a lynx or a bobcat - comes walking down the steps past the hedge towards me. My heart is pounding. I don't think it would hurt me but i don't really know.

Wake up.

My first impression upon waking is that that venue is the same place i saw Stevie Ray Vaughan play once and i was trying to remember if that really happened or if it only dream happened. I'm pretty sure it only dream happened but really, what difference does it make? If i see a concert 'awake' or i see a concert 'asleep' it's still good. I've seen the Beatles in concert a dozen times asleep. Burned into memory just like it was real. It's like having extra bonus life where everything is free. ;o)

Magic Caterpillar

I’m in the mall i go to sometimes in dreams. Scott and Mike are clothes shopping. We’re in the men section but i decide to browse around and look at shirts anyways. There’s a bunch of shirts on a rack that’s just almost out of my reach but i see a shirt i want to examine more closely. It’s got ruffles on the front and i think it might be cool. As i reach up to get it by the edge of its hanger, a couple – young man and woman, walk up to the same rack i’m standing in front of and begin to crowd me out. The man’s back is to me and he’s pushing me off balance. I say something to him about needing to stop crowding me. He and his girlfriend just look at me like i’m a freak. I almost have the shirt down but Mike and Scott are ready to go so i leave the shirt and we leave the store to go back out into the mall.

The dream sort of morphs here. We’re still in the mall but now it’s Scott and some other younger boy. I have a little black caterpillar that has special abilities of some sort. We go into the electronics store looking at stereos and the younger boy pinches off the very tail end of my caterpillar. I don’t think anything of it – it’s how the caterpillar performs the magic apparently. The little piece that is pinched off begins running around and around on the card that i keep the caterpillar on. The salesman seems to understand what the message of the caterpillar means and directs us to another place. We leave that store and go back out into the mall. As we’re walking, Scott pinches off a bit of the caterpillar from the bottom end again. Again, the little niblet goes running around and around the card. I don’t know what it means. Then we come to another ?store and the young boy pinches off a bit which again goes running around the card. I feel sorry for the caterpillar and tell Scott and the boy to stop pinching off little pieces because they’re getting close to the part of the caterpillar that contains its vital organs and it’ll die if they keep on taking bits of it off. I show them that all you have to do is ask the caterpillar to do whatever you want it to and it will. I tell the caterpillar to turn into the colors of a rainbow. As we watch, we can see the caterpillar go from black to rainbow.

Dream morphs again to ?the desert or some rocky dry place. A girl is explaining about some of the other things the caterpillar can do… but then it’s a new dream and i’m in an underground maze-like place trying to escape from a ?minotaur and wake up.


The telling doesn’t do the dream justice. It was very intense and primal feeling. The caterpillar turning into rainbow colors was very cool. It reminded me of fiber optic lights – cool and soft looking. Not sure what my unconscious was trying to relay.

Is the caterpillar the key or am i focusing on that aspect to much? Couples? Shopping “off the rack” ?

Maybe just a reaction to all the Tiger Woods drama. People keep pinching off bits of him until he’s dead or his career is destroyed? Hmm. I dunno. Doesn’t really feel right but i do hope his golf game isn’t affected by any of this crap. The caterpillar was segmented so it was easy to pinch off little segments. In its regular or natural state the caterpillar was black with bristly hairs and the little nubbin running around was also black with bristly hairs but when the caterpillar turned to rainbow colors it became opaque white looking with the colors appearing from deep inside.

No idea. Poor little caterpillar. The Minotaur part was probably residual WoW gaming flotsam because of the characters my rogue has been interacting with – especially the Tauren and Orc characters. At least this mall dream didn’t include losing my identity or forgetting where i parked my car.

Sweaters and Crocodiles

I’m in some kind of ?factory. It’s a huge complex of steel walkways elevated over water. The guide is walking me through. It feels like i’m in the scary part of a Bond movie. We’re almost to the exit when i hear a shuffling kind of ‘sandy’ sound and look over the side of the safety rail to see what’s down below. The water is FULL of crocodiles. It’s feeding time and they’re all scrambling for position. Some of the crocs are incredibly huge. One that’s really standing out and really scary i can only see it’s head but by the size and girth of it’s fat head it must be thirty feet long or more. The guide is showing me how they sometimes just throw a live cow into the fray to be torn apart but assures me that mostly they just throw in these big white bags of food. There’s a pretty pale colored cow (looks like Elsie from the dairy logo) being forced to walk down a ramp towards the water. It can smell the crocodiles and is fighting to back up. Some of the smaller more mobile crocs begin to run up the ramp and i’m screaming for the people to open the door and let the cow back out but it’s too late and an croc gets the cow by one of its front legs. We’re at the exit and i rush outside, completely horrified by the experience of being so close to that many crocodiles. As i’m coming out of the exit i’m also waking up for real and have the thought that the big giant crocodile couldn’t really be that big because 1) the water wasn’t that deep and 2) it had to have been an alligator not a crocodile because of the shape of its head. And the dream interpreted itself – my fears aren’t as fearful as they may appear. Just stay on the path.

Then i was in a school going to the auditorium for some kind of assembly. It’s an older type auditorium and all the chairs are wooden without any kind of upholstery. It was cold in there but apparently i’d been there earlier and had left my sweater so was walking through the rows to find it. I could see a few chairs in various parts of the auditorium that had sweaters similar to mine draped over them but none of them were my sweater and i’m wondering if somebody took mine by mistake. All the sweaters are cream colored like mine but mine is a shade lighter and doesn’t have any sleeves. I leave the auditorium and go through the halls to find ?my classroom but end up at the main entrance to the auditorium. There are some ?lunch ladies in blue uniform frocks. One of them stops me and asks for my pass. I don’t have one and tell her so. She tells me that if i can estimate how many people are in the auditorium she’ll let me in. I’m estimating that there’ll be a couple thousand but when i look down the stairs to see and it’s just the entrance to the auditorium and there’s just a small group of people. I’m thinking it might be as many as thirty or fifty but tell her “twenty”. She’s going to let me go in but another of the lunch ladies tells her not to let me. I tell the both that i’ve already been in and will just go back to the top and go in from there where nobody is checking. It makes the second lunch lady mad but i just laugh because i know there’s nothing she can do about it.

I never did find my sweater and i’m not really sure what the images signify. Auditorium – all the world’s a stage? I’m thinking that the lunch ladies are people in some small position of authority? The sleeveless sweater? Just a prop that i don’t really need? Underestimating the number on purpose? Selling myself short or setting myself up to fail on purpose because i know the lunch ladies don’t really have any authority over me? Between the two dreams though, i’d say everything is fine in my life because all my fears and doubts are illusions made to look more important than they truly are. ? Maybe.

Beatles (mostly George) and Chick McGee

I had a fun Beatles dream last night. It was in some old city. Like Boston but older so probably somewhere in England. I insisted on wearing this odd cape thing that had once belonged to George. We went to a restaurant to have food and where the Beatles were supposed to play (Beatles doing dinner theatre! It would’ve been excellent fun) but instead of playing, John and George sat at my table and were making me laugh. Then George said he needed a decongestant and when i checked my cape, it turned out it was made up of Sudafed bubble pacs so i broke off a four-pack and handed it to him. Then we were watching television in a house and some baby spilled drink all over my cape. I was mad at first but then George said i could have his other one and we went back to a room and he handed me a cape but this one was made of really soft deer leather. On the television was a show about blowing up large yellow construction vehicles and it was hosted by Chick McGee. I was surprised at how thin he looked. Then i was walking along a hall and there was Chick McGee coming out of his dressing room and i stopped to mention how good he looked losing all that weight. He said he hadn’t really lost any and i could see that even though his face looked thinner, he had a big belly and a giant fat glob hanging off his neck.

This is the third time in the last five days that Chick McGee has been in my dreams. Weird. Does that mean i need to listen to Bob&Tom more or less?

Three levels of reality.

This will be tricky to record. In the dream, i’m writing down (by hand) the details of a dream i had. So while i’m writing down the dream i’m remembering the dream details which is sort of like dreaming two times at once. So… i’ve just awakened and am writing down the dream. My sisters are both in the room sitting in chairs and i don’t want them to read what i’m writing. My handwriting (as usual) leaves a lot to be desired so i’m trying to write neatly so i’ll be able to read it later. I write:

In the dream i’m in a large hotel with Sharon and ??. It’s a very nice resort place and we’ve apparently checked into our rooms and are in the lobby to go explore. A young rastafari shoe-shine man stops me and says “THEY are waiting for you.” I don’t even ask who because i know. Aliens. Sharon, ?? and i leave the hotel. Immediately surrounding the hotel, like a moat, is the parking lot. It’s full of cars. We go across the parking lot to a large garage looking building. It’s an indoor gym and storage for the other outdoor sports equipment.

I get sidetracked writing because i’ve finished a page and i’m trying to decide if i should continue on the back of the paper or on another sheet. I think that if my writing bleeds through at all, it will make reading it confusing so i start again on a new sheet.

Sharon, ?? and i have gone through the garage gym and on the other side the landscape opens up. Directly behind the gym are stables for horseback riders. Beyond the stables we can see pasture land and then the edge of the forest where the riding trails probably are. The vista to the left is more open rolling hills. There are people in little carts so i’m guessing it’s a golf course but it’s very far away and i can’t really tell.

Audree is trying to read what i’m writing and i turn to hide it better.

We’re walking across a field because THEY will be waiting at the edge, hidden behind trees. Sharon and ?? are following along but they don’t know what’s waiting and i’m kind of sad because i think that they probably won’t want to come with. I wake up inside the dream and want to write it down before i forget.

And i’m back to writing it down but i keep adding more elements as i remember and i think i probably won’t be able to finish writing it all down and actually, in the writing, don’t get past the part about the gym/garage in front of the stables.

Layered dreams are hell on the brain.


And another bit… at some point between walking through the garage/gym to the stables, there was a guy putting up posters for the democrats. It had some what i thought to be juvenile stupid slogan on it and i begin berating the guy (he’s dressed like a Mormon bike missionary) for dumbing down President Obama’s message and begin shouting that he must be allowed to serve all eight years in order to rebuild the nation’s foundation to a point that it won’t matter if Bush comes back and tears it down again.

Just remembered another dream i had between the writing dream parts. It takes place in the Castlemill house. I'm thinking about killing myself but i hear people in the front of the house. I look outside the front door and see two work men pouring cement? or making some kind of well. I duck back in the house because i don’t want them to see me. I hear dad calling me and i realize he’s out there and the men are there because dad hired them. I stick my head back out the door to try and see around the corner when a little white pig comes running out of the brush by the road and right into the house. I try to stop it but it’s too strong even though it’s only the size of a small dog. It’s very clean looking and i wonder if it’s a pet. Mom comes around the corner from the kitchen and is trying to “shoe” the pig out but it evades us both and disappears into the back end of the house. I go back to my room to continue writing down the dream i was writing about. I decide i want some electronic pleasure and think that i’ll just bring my toy into the bathroom with me when i realize that my room is actually an entire apartment and since my sisters are gone i don’t have to leave my own space to masturbate.

Death and sex and little white pigs, oh my.

Voodoo movie dream

I only have pieces left but it was a very detailed and ‘extensive’ dream. It starts like i’m listening to a movie on my ipod. It’s apparently a movie that’s been released but i didn’t think i wanted to see it but as i listen it becomes more interesting. It seems that there is a small band of men that have asked a voodoo man for some type of power and it’s been granted. Then i’m watching a car load of young people arriving at a party place – sort of rock outcropping at the end of a gravel road. ?something happens that makes them want to leave. I can clearly see the one girl and two guys. The two guys leave and the girl stays behind.

The next scene, the vehicle the guys were in – i think it’s a jeepy kind of pickup, maybe a Scout – is laying on it’s side and i can see the bodies of the kids strewn on the road. I can’t tell if they’re hurt, dead or what. There’s a large tractor that was pulling a long flat-bed trailer stopped in the road and from what i can tell (it’s dark out) is that the kids were driving along, didn’t see the tractor pulling the trailer and crashed right into the back of it. There’s no sign of the farmer so i’m guessing that the tractor was just parked there and it’s not really a road but more like a path through the farmer’s crops. As all this is registering, three men show up on foot. They’re being kind of quiet but laughing too – like merry pranksters. They go to the bodies of the two boys and say some incantation over the corpses, stuff a twenty dollar bill and a dried mushroom in each of the boys front jeans pocket. I think they do that to throw off the authorities and make it look like a bad trip (?)

Now the scene shifts and i’m following the three men into the mouth of a cave. There’s a policeman or some kind of law steward guarding the cave to keep people out but the three men are dressed for caving and have oxygen tanks and gear so the guard doesn’t stop them. Big blank here…. It’s another ?cave or some kind of place to explore. Two guys are going in and just like the other place (or maybe it’s the same place) the guard doesn’t stop them because they look like they know what they’re doing. Scene shift again and the most recent two guys are dead and the three men are stuffing a twenty and a ‘shroom in each of the guys front jeans pocket.

Now it’s back to the girl’s story – the one that stayed behind at the party rock. She knows her friends are dead but nobody talks about it. She’s been to the site where their bodies are but she can’t touch them. It’s like some kind of force prevents them from being handled or touched. Now i’m in the passenger seat of an SUV driving through town. Scott is driving. We’re going to this house where the voodoo man that gave the guys their power lives. We arrive at the house. It’s just a little house right on a street like in any small town. It’s raised up on beams and is being restored i guess. It’s yellow and a cute house. I stay in the SUV for a minute to turn off my ipod and put it away. I’m hoping i can remember the name of the movie so i can finish listening to it.

We go into the house. It’s kind of a mess with carpenters stuff but we go back to the kitchen where the voodoo man is and it’s restored back there. As i’m walking in to the kitchen behind Scott i have an idea that the men that asked for the power had meant to ask for some other gift but worded it badly so that it got messed up when granted. I think that they meant to ask for the power to restore life and got it but not in the way they intended. They could restore life, but in doing so placed the body in a different realm. Our world could still see them but we couldn’t interact or touch them. I’m not sure why we’re at the voodoo man’s house but it might have something to do with getting the back story. There’s a large gilded bird cage in the kitchen and the bird in it is very different looking than the usual pet bird. It looks like a swift but has pretty colors like a peacock. As i’m standing and looking at the bird (the voodoo man is standing in a doorway that leads from the kitchen to another room) the bird starts sending out some kind of signal towards me. It’s like it’s singing but there’s no sound. I can see the sound moving through the air towards me. It looks like oil through water. Swirly and slow and thick. I wonder what will happen when the waves reach me when a loud singing sound intervenes. It’s the voodoo man singing a song to the bird and the words of the song are telling the bird not to expend its energy without need. The swirly oily air dissipates and the bird is quieted.

Now we’re driving to another house. It’s the house where the two guys from the cave live. The movie girl is with us now so maybe it’s really the house where the first two guys live. I’m trying to find the movie on my ipod so i can listen some more but can only find reggae channels. I think about marking the reggae channels as favorites but none of them are playing very good reggae so i don’t. Now we’re at the house. It’s just a regular house in the suburbs. I can see two guys on the car pad washing their car. They’re completely naked and hairless. They look like mannequins. The girl recognizes them as here friends and jumps out of the SUV (we’re parked in the back yard on the grass) to run to them. I’m not sure if i want to get out or not because i don’t know if they’re still people or if they’re aliens now. I can hear the girl talking to them but they don’t react. They really are like mannequins. I try to ask Scott if he knows what the name of the movie is so we can rent it and watch it later to see how it ends.

That’s all i remember now. It was a cool dream.

bike repair

I have a brand new bicycle pump. It’s the same color as my bike so i decide to pump up the tires and go for a spin. It’s been a long time since i rode my bike so i don’t plan on going very far. I’m riding on Hoadly Road heading for Taylor’s store. I get to the store and check my tires. The store still looks the same as when i was a kid. Were there really those old fashioned gas pumps out front? I don’t remember. The rear rim is bent a little, crimped sort of so the wheel isn’t fully round. I pull the crimped piece back straight. At first it seems okay but then i see that the tire and the inner tube are split and it’s beyond just needing air. I pick up my bike and start walking back home. The chain is hanging off and looks like it needs to be cleaned and oiled. The bike isn’t heavy so i really don’t mind carrying it. When i get ‘home’ (it looks like some kind of apartment complex with lots of cement walkways), i put my bike in the back of a pickup truck. I drive to the bike shop (it’s The Spin Cycle) and as i'm bringing my bike in i’m trying to decide if i want to learn how to replace the tube and tire myself or just leave it at the shop and pay to let the experts fix the tire and the chain.

Brian and Freddie

I’m at a restaurant with several people including Scott and Mike. I think it’s Mellow Mushroom (since we were there last night that’s not a surprise). I hear live music and walk around a partition to find the source. Freddie Mercury and Brian May are in the restaurant playing! They’re both playing guitar, no vocals. I’m mesmerized by Brian’s finger work and watch him pretty much exclusively. I think Freddie is playing an acoustic but i’m not sure. Even in the dream i know that Freddie is dead so i’m kind of surprised at my lack of excitement over seeing him alive again. All my attention is focused on Brian May, his red guitar, and the thick coin he's using for his pick. The table in front of them is covered with musical notes and as i watch Brian’s hands i try to read the music (it’s upside down for me) to see if that’s what he’s actually playing. When i look up at his face he’s looking back at me and our eyes lock. His eyes are full of kindness and i'm filled with love and happiness.

Morph to a highway with many lanes but little traffic. I’m driving a little zoomie car like a Metro or a Mini. There are a couple of other little cars on the road with me and we’re all driving pretty fast. I’m in the farthest left lane and there’s one car behind me and one lane over. There’s another car way over in the lane second to the right (there’s seven lanes on our side of the divide). I’m worried that i might get a speeding ticket but when i check the speedometer, i’m only going 55. I turn on the radio and a Queen song is playing with Brian is tearing it up on his guitar. I’m happy we made eye contact at the restaurant and wonder if he’s maybe in one of the other cars on the highway.

So random to see Freddie and Brian in my dream. Love me some Dr. May.

Theatre of the Unconcious

Early dream and i'm back in the same motel room as last night. Now i realized that the little girl has been drugged with grape flavored liquid benedryl. I can smell purple grape smell. The child is very sleepy and confused about what's happening and just wants to lay down and sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm attending some sort of event in a concert hall. It’s psychedelic images projected on a screen (like old Avalon Ballroom or Fillmore concerts) with live dance on stage. I’m sitting towards the right side of the theatre not too far back from the stage. The projector is being hand held by the man sitting to my right. He looks like Dustin Hoffman as he appeared in Papillon. The light from the projector is very bright and i have to remember to keep my eyes on the stage because if i look to my right, i’m blinded by white light. The theatre is old. It reminds me of how the Rialto was back in the early 80’s (before the original padded steel chairs were replaced with the nasty rocking type chairs it has now) but not as sloped so when the burly frat boys that are sitting to the front and center of my position make shadow figures on the screen all i can see are their big white arms waving around. They don’t do it too much so i don’t even have time to get annoyed with them. The dancers are children. One boy, very talented and graceful, is dancing with a little girl. They look like miniature ballroom dancers and i find myself entranced by the performance. At the end of the dance, the boy makes a kind of leap that Nijinsky was famous for – grace defying gravity. As he leaves the stage i meet him off to the side and tell him how much i enjoyed his dancing. I tell him that years ago i saw Baryshnikov dance on that very same stage (so apparently we’re at Memorial Auditorium because that’s where i saw Baryshnikov) and i was just as thrilled at this performance as i was at the other.

I leave the theatre with two men (a couple, but not Scott and Mike). It’s pouring rain outside and the lights from the theatre reflect off the pavement and it’s very pretty. As we pass by some people sitting on the curb under umbrellas i grab one of the umbrellas and say “thank you!” as i continue walking to where my car is. It’s a HUGE umbrella and i put it over me and the couple i’m walking with. The one man looks back at me and smiles. His teeth are abnormally white. Almost blue white against his brown skin, but he’s very handsome. (I think it’s Tyler’s boyfriend from New Zealand.)

We get to the parking lot where our cars are parked. They get in a red ?Jaguar convertible hard-top. I turn to where my car is parked and i’m appalled to see that i’ve left the front windows half-way down and i’m worried that my car will be soaked from the rain. As i walk closer i see that my car has been ravaged. There are three large black men in it tearing apart the interior. The car is sitting on the axles because the wheels have been stolen and it’s smoldering because it had been on fire. I run over to my car and ask the men what they think they’re doing with my car and they tell me they’re preparing to tow it away. I’m very angry that somebody broke into my car (even if the windows were down) and wrecked it. I’m especially pissed because the tires weren’t but a few weeks old. As the men continue breaking the car down into pieces i dial 9-1-1 to get a policemen to come and take a report. At first my cell phone won’t get any signal. I move closer to the road and finally get through but only can get a busy signal. I’m very frustrated and decide to just leave and deal with it later but when i go to see if the men i’d been with would give me a ride, they’d already left. I was annoyed that they’d leave me because they’d obviously seen what had happened to my car and they left me stranded anyways. I think “selfish pigs” to myself. I note that the little shopping center where my car was parked has a Lebanese (maybe Greek) restaurant. I need to remember it so i can get back to it again.

I begin walking down the street to go back to the theatre but realize i’ve gone in the opposite direction to where i need to be. I turn around to begin walking back the way i’d come and realize i’m a seedy neighborhood full of ugly light brown brick public housing apartments. The apartments are on only one side of the street. On the other side is just open empty lots covered with weeds and bits of trash. I see a street sign and it says Chavis Heights. Now i’m afraid because i’m alone in a dangerous neighborhood. I look down the street and there’s nobody outside. I look at the apartments and the windows are just dark and emotionless like empty shark eyes. I decide that i made it IN to the neighborhood without any problem so maybe i’d get back out okay too. As i walk back the way i’d come, i avoid stepping on broken beer bottles. The bottles are brown glass. Further up the street in front of me i see a small group of black children. There are five of them, a mix of boys and girls. The youngest looks to be about seven and the oldest is maybe twelve. I’m a little nervous but as i get closer one of the middle boys (maybe nine or ten years old, wearing a red striped shirt and a ball cap) walks back to where i am and walks with me. He brings me to his house (apartment) and tells me i can use his phone. The inside of the place is very neat and clean and i feel safe there. I’m thinking i’ll call the police to tell them about my car and then go back to the little shopping center to meet an officer and make a report. I leave the apartment and continue walking up the street and realize that i’m completely lost and have no idea where i am or which way i should go.

Saved again by Strawberry Fields.

Three Disturbing dreams

I’m listening to the news and while the newscasters are discussing the missing child situation, my view is of a motel room. It’s more like a suite. There’s a sitting area by a television with a love seat and an upholstered chair. Behind that area is a larger area with two more upholstered chairs and a bed. There are four men. One is lounging on the bed, two are seated in the chairs and the other is standing behind the couch. The child is curled up on the couch surrounded by pillows. She is crying softly, trying to be as small and unnoticed as possible. The men are all black and not very old. The one standing looks the youngest. The apparent leader is maybe in his late twenties. The youngest of the men walks up to the back of the couch. He has a ?sword (maybe it’s a machete) and hacks the child in the back with it and kills her. Now i can hear news people again and they’re angry that the men won’t be eligible for the death penalty because of their ages and i’m thinking it makes no difference, the child is dead.

Deep sea creatures - whales, giant squids – are surfacing all over the Earth because all of chemical pollution is in a layer at the bottom of the ocean, forcing every living thing to rise.

In some kind of subterranean house, there are round sunken living areas with white couches that, from my vantage point, look like open O’s. There a three of these seating areas. There’s also a round pool or ‘water feature’ in the room, a stone fireplace in what appears to be a dining room. Cathy and Nate are in one of the sunken living rooms and off to the side is a baby table with a very large newborn lying on it. It’s HUGE – about the size of a year old child. Nate is standing next to me explaining that Cathy just had the baby and it’s a girl. I ask if she had a c-section and he told me no she had it vaginally. I was angry with him for letting her deliver such a large baby at home without medical intervention because if there’d been any complications both Cathy and the baby might have died. Cathy is very passive and remains seated on the couch. I touch the baby’s hair – it’s black and silky and straight like Asian hair. I tell Cathy that it’s nice that this baby is dark haired because her other baby is light haired and she agrees. [Later] Cathy and i are standing by the pool and i’m holding the baby. We talk about the baby looking more Spanish than the other baby, and i notice that the hair is getting thicker and curlier and no longer looks Asian and does look more Spanish but her skin is very white now.

false awakedness

I'm at work (unfamiliar environment though) and it's near the end of the day and i'm busy doing my day-to-day work stuff when i realize i need to be working on the 2010 CPT update because the State is waiting for my recommendation. I feel guilty for not doing that work first.

It's time to leave (i think i'm at the State's offices on Dix Campus) and i'm not sure how to get out of the place. Martha says i can follow her because she knows a short cut. Me and a few other co-workers follow her out and it is a very short walk to the auto garage. Martha gets in her car and leaves, and the other folks seem to be finding their cars too and leaving. I can't find my car anywhere and i'm hitting the panic button to get my car alarm to go off. I walk outside of the garage and see it's the first of four garages and then the office building. I realize i didn't park in the garages but parked right outside the office building. Martha's short cut only works for people that park in the garage. I'm kinda pissed because i have to figure out how to walk back to where i was (follow the 'short cut' in reverse) and then walk all the way back through the building to the parking lot.

As i'm walking along the front of the garage buildings the dream morphs. Now i'm on ?vacation in ?Savannah or maybe Charleston. I'm walking up a ramp to my room at a red brick Inn. Scott and Mike are already in the room and with a jolt i remember that i was in charge of Hazel (except in the dream she was a boy golden and her name was Jason). The street in front of the Inn is busy with cars and pedestrians and i'm frantic because Jason might get hit by a car. I try to whistle but can't. I keep trying and every once in a while a whistle sound comes out but i think it's not loud enough for Jason to hear. As i'm walking down a steep flight of cement stairs, holding on to the scrolly wrought iron railing, i see Jason running up the sidewalk towards me and i'm relieved s/he's okay.


Boring stress dream. Making sure Hazel didn't eat anything she wasn't supposed to and getting the update reviews done has been on my mind all weekend.

Work flotsam

I’m at the Waters Edge facility in the passenger seat of an old pickup truck. It’s Lavina’s and apparently she’s just driven us back to work from somewhere. Lunch maybe. We’re in the lobby of a building ?my high school? and i realized i need to get to Dr. F’s office to help out because he’s busy and needs an experienced nurse to run things. Lavina tells me i can use her pick up truck. I go back out to the parking lot in front of the Waters Edge building and see her truck. It’s faded now but was dark blue. It’s a Chevy and in pretty rough shape. I open the driver’s door and it swings all the way out and into the fender because the hinge is shot. I pull the door back to a position where i can close it once i get in the drivers seat. I realize the transmission is manual and i don’t know how to drive one but decide i can maybe figure it out and crank up the engine. As i pull out, i drive to close to ?a mailbox pole? and scrape the left fender. I feel bad even though the truck is already pretty beat up but keep driving.

I’m on a freeway that has a big tangle of overpasses. I take one of the overpasses and i’m cruising along pretty well. There are no other vehicles on the freeway or any of the overpasses and i feel like i’m in the Omega Man. Finally i arrive at the doctors’ office. I park the truck and go in to the waiting room. I’m familiar with this space and make myself at home. First i go into the business office to check the schedule and see which patients are scheduled and for what. I see that the doctor should be in a room doing a minor surgery and i hurry to change so i can assist.

I go up the hall where the treatment rooms are and it’s very damp and grim looking. It reminds me of the clinic in Pacifica. An office assistant, a young man, is coming up the hall towards me and i’m wondering if the surgery is finished. He looks at me but doesn’t say anything. I go to the end of the hall and out the back door to the back parking lot to change clothes and then return to the room where the doctor is. I enter and go to the back of the room where the sink is to scrub up. It’s not a sink though; it’s just a tile wall with a stream of water that pours out at my face level. Like a shower but the water doesn’t spray out, just down. As i’m washing my hands, i realize i’m wearing a paper patient gown with nothing underneath and my butt is showing. I’m a little embarrassed (bare assed!) and can feel the doctor looking at me. Neither of us has spoken or even acknowledged the other yet. Other people are coming in and out of the room and i can see them passing by in the hallway and they’re all in states of partial or full undress so i no longer feel embarrassed about my own state and too bad about being mostly naked myself.

I finish drying my hands and walk to the exam table. There’s a partially clothed middle aged man lying on the table and his chart is next to him on another table. I pick up the record and ask “Do you mind if i familiarize myself with the problem?” and Dr. F says “Go ahead.” Our first words are civil and i feel hopeful that our differences are far enough behind us now that we can work together again.

According to the record, this patient has five ?nodules/lesions on various parts of his back that need to be excised. They are written in the chart as a cluster of half-inch circles. I think if the circles were connected by a line it would form a star but i’m not sure. I glove up and prepare the surgery tray so we can begin. The young man comes back to the room and i remember i have to get Lavina’s truck back to her. I leave and go out the back door at the end of the hall but have to walk around to the front of the building because i remember i parked out front. I get in the truck, careful not to let the door go this time, and i’m driving on a little country road. There are mail boxes overgrown with vines along side the road, and quaint little houses along the way. I’m taking the truck back to Lavina’s house and i like the area where she lives. It feels like home.

I wake up to hear wind and rain hitting the window. My bed feels nice and warm and homey too. It's time to review and input all the new procedure codes that the AMA has come up with for 2010 so i'm sure that's what prompted this dream. All the past rolled up into a giant memory dustball.

well cared for house plants

I’m on my way to somewhere but before i go i think i should water my plants. There are a lot of plants on a big table. Most of them appear healthy and in no need of watering but a couple of small plants are dry so i water just those. I go into the living room (this is my VA house) and there’s a pot with a big plant in it. There’s smaller plants mixed in with the big one and they are all grown together and look nice. It is very healthy and bushy so i just spray it with a misting bottle to refresh it a bit. I go into the kitchen to see if there are any plants in there that need to be watered. At the counter i see somebody has left out sandwich fixings and i decide to make myself a sandwich. I put my ipod on to play Neil Young. It’s a song i really like and begin to sing along loudly. I notice that the battery is almost completely drained so i take it to the living room and switch it out for my other ipod. I plug the drained ipod in to charge and turn the charged one on to put the Neil Young song back on. I see that this ipod’s battery is in the red also and i’m surprised because i was sure it was fully charged. As i watch, the red indicator turns green and fills up the battery icon. Singing loudly along to the radio, i return to the kitchen to resume making my sandwich.

Strawberry Fields brought me back to 'now'. The phrase from the song Little Feat song Willin’ “and if you give me…. WEEEEEEED, whites and wine and you show me a SIGN….” is playing in my head and i can’t remember what Neil Young song i was listening to. Are You Ready For the Country? Down By The River? Can’t remember.

The plants looked very healthy. Sometimes when i have that kind of dream the plants are all dried out and dying because i’ve forgotten to water them for so long. I think that plants are symbolic of some aspect of my nature. Soul? Imagination? Inner well being of some kind. The fact that they were all healthy and green in this dream might suggest that i’m living in good balance right now maybe. If i think about it, i guess my mind does feel pretty lush and healthy.

The conversation with Sharon continues...

Last night i dreamed Sharon was dismantling her Herndon house to move it somewhere else. I thought it was cool how the walls and stuff snapped together like Lego blocks. The place Sharon was moving to was uninhabited and looked like pasture land. Rolling countryside and open fields. Like how Herndon and most of Loudoun County used to be. The house was mostly dismantled. Sharon and i were going to go sit in the lawn chairs that she’d arranged in the dismantled living room (no roof overhead). Sharon was saying something about how mad she’d been with me for the Flora incident. I got pissed and told her that she didn’t have any right to be mad at me for speaking the truth and that i had been so mad at her for using a friend like that. Right after we had that exchange everything was fine again. We begin putting the house back together but it was hard to tell, with some of the shorter walls, which way was up and which way was down. I ask her if she's heard from Vic or Lynn. [She replies something positive i think, but awake i can't remember the words she said.] Sharon’s friend Elaine was there too i think. Also, there was a cow that kept checking everything out and getting in the way, walking in and out of the open spaces. Something about the place Sharon was moving… it wasn’t too far from Padre Island TX which was why moving there (obviously she’s no longer in Herndon) makes it less of a loss.

The ‘Flora’ incident was what ended our friendship. It was an unspoken ending, but an ending nonetheless. That’s been ? fifteen years ago? A long time ago. After i relayed the dream (minus the bit about the Flora incident) Sharon emailed back:

WOW! Cool dream...We must still have our psychic or telephathic connection still after all this time! I sent you an email (reg email) to look at a little house I've been looking at. It's out in Pulaski Tenn. HA! Not that I'd move there...but, with BRAC and the job moving to Huntsville AL, I've looked at the area (no there's been no offer to move). I just wanted to look. And while looking, I stumbled on this cute house! It's So Me!!! Love the floor length windows (dog can look outside during the day)...Beautiful transom glass over some of the doors. OLD sink (too cool)... great back entrance for gardening and messy dog paws. Then that cute ass back yard and patio area...and old stone work and iron fence!!! AGHHHHH. And a little cute garden shed...handy for me to fill the back-back yard with perennial gardens and all my iris! Was thinking it would be nice to pick up that house and place it HERE!!! That's what you must have picked-up on! Way cool! Where the hell the cow came in...have NO IDEA! Love you!

It is a psychic connection. I have that with all the people i connect with at a soul level. Even people i haven't met yet. With people i have met, it's like living inside the same skin sometimes. And it IS a very cute house! I’d like it too because i love old houses (even though this looks like a new house styled to contain elements of the past) and love rounded doorways. I've always wanted to live in a house with a turret. Or just live IN a turret. But HUNTsville. That's where my little sister was born. How weird. http://peek.snipurl.com/t24en [www_valleymls_com]


Anyways, i know that Sharon wants me to call her to talk on the phone and “catch up” as she calls it ever since our class reunion a few weeks ago when we reconnected in facebook. Besides generally hating talking on a telephone, i’m unsure about resuming our friendship. I don’t have that quality that lets me be halfway. When love is involved, it’s all or nothing. I can’t be friends with somebody i don’t trust. If she used me like she used the Flora's it would not worth the pain it would bring. But on the other hand…. maybe she doesn’t even remember the Flora incident. She always had a lot of friends so me disappearing from her busy life wouldn’t have been noticeable probably. We were so close once. So different but compatible. Shadow/Light. Yin/Yang. She's very secretive and i have no secrets. I'm invisible and she's flash. She always wondered what people were saying about us after we’d left the ‘party’. I tried to explain to her that probably nobody even noticed we were gone, but in her mind, her presence would’ve HAD to have been missed. She’s all ego, i am none. Maybe between us we make one whole person. She's like a drug to me. She fascinates me. Her loving good side is very loving and good. She just didn’t let that part of herself show enough. Isn’t that hell? To see the ‘real’ person under all the disguises and love that being but that part of the person is mostly hidden to the world and even to themselves. I suppose we're all that hidden inner somebody to somebody else too. But anyways, i think i shall not revisit the past when there's still all that Unknown ahead to be explored! So, the only thing to do is nothing and just let the journey unfold as the Universal Mind sees fit. Because the Fool's path is the one i prefer. Trust the Universe.

A visit with Sharon

I’m in Sharon’s house in Herndon. We’re sitting on the couch, visiting and reminiscing about the good times we had. If i sit with my back against the back of the couch, my knees aren’t even close to the end of the couch so my feet stick straight out (like a little child sitting in an adult chair). It’s not comfortable and i make some comment about the size of the couch. I move closer to the edge so my feet can be on the ground. Sharon’s making a point about how she has cream colored carpet and a cream colored couch and even with pets, she manages to keep them clean. I’m not impressed because i know that she’s particular about her stuff and always keeps things nice. I ask her if she has any relatives living nearby and as i start to say “Or are they all in West Virginia” she says “No, they’re all in West Virginia.” I ask her what part and she replies with the name of a town i recognize (but can’t remember now). I ask her if it’s near Clarksburg because that’s where Scott’s sister lives and start telling her about the town and how cute it is, with old Victorian houses and old brick buildings. I tell her that if i had to live in WV i’d want to live in Clarksburg because it’s got a Books-a-Million and a Wal-Mart. We are immediately transported to Clarksburg. We’re in the old downtown area (but it looks like dad’s home town in Breckenridge MN). Sharon and i walk into a large fenced in field/lawn. There are people digging in the sod between rows of white plastic barrels. We walk through and nobody acknowledges us. Sharon makes a comment about how unfriendly these West Virginian’s are. Before she finished getting the words out of her mouth the ‘supervisor’ in a white lab coat comes running after us, berating us for not giving them the chance to be friendly. Basically he’s blaming us for not acknowledging the workers first. We just kinda shrug and walk away, ignoring him.

That’s all i remember.

The field with the diggers and white plastic barrels. I think maybe it’s a church cemetery and they’re digging graves.

I’ve always loved Sharon’s house. It was the house her grandparents lived in. She took me there many, many years before she ever lived there and i loved it way back then. After she did live there, i spent many good times with her there. We had a fun xmas together in that house. I’m glad she’s still living there.

A new drug

Last night i dreamed that the blood pressure pills i was taking weren’t working. I was sitting on the exam table in my nephrologist's office (but it wasn't my doctor in the dream) and asked him to give me a stronger version of that pill.He looked at what i was taking and said that he would change the drug to a completely different one. He warned me that it would have weird side-effects for the first few weeks but it was important that i continue taking it along with the other pill or else something bad could happen but before i could ask what would happen i was no longer in the room with him but was talking to him on the phone and we got disconnected. I only had one days worth of the new pills and decided to take one right away. Afterwards i remembered that the doctor had said that i’d have a bad reaction at first until i got used to it and worried that maybe i’d made a mistake in starting taking them because i didn’t have enough to continue. I tried to reach the doctor by telephone again and at first couldn't get a signal. Finally i got through but realized i didn't know the pharmacy number and hung up real quick so i could look for the number. I left the exam room went into the front office to look for a phone book. It took forever going through the yellow pages but i finally found a number and then called the doctor back. It was late and i got his service so i left a message explaining that i needed him to call me in a prescription of the new drug right away. I went out of the office and into a café. The woman i was sitting across from (my regular doc?) reminded me that the reason i had been taking the pills i’d been taking was because of their particular action in keeping the nephrons ‘open’ and the new drug didn’t have that property. I did recall hearing that from the first nephrologist i'd ever seen and even though he'd lost his license i knew he was smart about kidneys and started to panic. Just then the new drugs side-effects began and the face of the person across from me began to melt like it was made of warm wax and i knew it was going to bad if i didn’t get more of that drug.

Death dream. Lately i've been feeling like i'm almost out of life force. I fainted a few weekends ago and have been wondering if i'm about to blow a gasket. Also though, i've been wondering if that's what death will be like - according to the boy i went down in a heap - just nothing. Waking up was like coming out of anesthesia. I didn't know where i was but felt so relaxed and rested (laying there on the floor of his garage). If i'd've never come back i wouldn't have known. Just 'gone'. The nothingness of that state felt good. What if all of this that i think is 'life' is just the visions and impressions of the dying brain? It seems like years but maybe it's fractions of seconds. Like an epic dream that goes on for days but occurs during the nine minute period between snooze alarms. I'm already dead and this IS the after life? What difference is there between 'before' life and 'after' life? Anything? I really liked that blank period of unconsciousness.

I'm secretly going bald!

Me and WayneM? are walking along a well worn trail beside of a country lane. I’m in the lead so i can’t really see who it is but i get the impression he’s somebody i’m acquainted with. Sometimes i can see the sparkle of sunlight on an ocean that is well off to our left. Occasionally we pass little cottages. One of the cottages has a collection of wind chimes and the sound is very pleasant. We’re going to a particular home where others will be waiting for us so i’m trying to hurry but keep getting distracted by the sights. Finally we enter a part of the trail that is between ‘civilized’ places and i can hurry along better. Then i begin to notice shiny silver discs on the ground. They’re coins but too big to be coins so i’m not really sure. We’re in too much of a hurry for me to examine more closely. The last coin i see before we reach the end of the trail and enter the grass lawn of the house we’re approaching is a Kennedy half dollar. It looks rusted. I make a mental note to myself to collect those coins on our way back.

My companion and i are in the house now and it’s some kind of gathering like a party. Sharon is there. Maybe it’s a reunion. I go to the bathroom to wash my face. My hair is a mess so i begin to brush it and find that underneath the bush of hair, i’ve gone completely bald on the very top of my head! It’s so smooth and white and i wonder how i’ve not noticed it until now. I brush my hair back like it was and you can’t see the baldness at all. I go out to the living room and, laughing, show Sharon my big bald place. I tell her that the only bad part about it is that i can’t cut my hair in a short pixie anymore and she laughs too.

The visuals along the walk were very colorful. The blue of the ocean and the sparkle of the sun reflecting on the waves was just like the view coming in to Pacifica on Hwy1.

Saved Again by Strawberry Fields

I’ve just arrived in Pacifica and i’m riding in the back seat of the 70’s era boat of a car from the airport. We (the driver and i) pull up in front of an unkempt looking house. The yard is enclosed in chain-link fence and the ground covered with yellow, dead looking grass. There’s a dog house with a forlorn looking dog on a chain near the front right corner of the house. I’m not sure (yet) who the driver/companion is but we walk into the house without knocking. There isn’t much in the way of furniture or accoutrements inside the house and our foot steps are loud on the wood floors. In the rear of the house is a bedroom. My companion, i realize now, is Mrs. A and i’m in the Pacifica Horror House. She indicates the room is her ‘destination’ and she’s going to bed and i should go find a place where i can sleep. I feel sick and lost. I make my way through the dark into what seems to have been a living room. There’s a big bed (apparently a fold out couch) with a thin mattress and i decide to sleep there. I’m asleep when i hear Stu? come in to the room and i’m afraid he’s going to notice me and Strawberry Fields saved me from further dreaming.

Thinking of that house and the people that lived in it gives me anxiety chest pain.

on a boat

I’m in A Clockwork Orange. At first i’m just watching some of the scenes as they unfold (horrifying violence). Somebody is beside me, but i don’t know who it is. We watched as Alex and his cronies beat up the homeless man. We watch as Alex and his hooligans brutalize and kill the woman from the story. Then the scene shifts to a kind of camp site under an abandoned overpass. It’s Alex and a teenage girl with frosted hair. Some time has passed since the brutal rape and murder of the woman (from the story) but before the authorities have apprehended Alex and subjected him to his “humane” reconditioning. I’m explaining to my ‘companion’ that Time and Love have cured Alex but the authorities will still torture him into becoming a monster again. An older woman appears in the camp scene and i assume it’s the girl’s mom. She’s very welcoming to Alex and i feel bad that Alex is going to have to leave this caring comfort and finish the movie because we know what happens.


I’m on a vacation trip with Scott and Mike. We’re in a tourist town in ? The Dells? It’s very rustic and sort of a fishing village. We’re driving a small rental car. We decide to take one of the boat tours of the lake but the “road” to get up to the boat house is a series of switch backs made of boards and rope. (It reminds me of the rope bridges in Stranglethorn Vale.) We leave the car and walk up the ‘road’. It seems secure enough and after three switchbacks we get up to the boat house. Inside a few people have already gathered, getting ready for the tour. It cost $23.00 to take the tour so i give the son of the boat captain twenty five and ask him to keep the extra two dollars for a tip to give his dad. We all board the boat. It’s fairly long but narrow and roofless. Like a cross between a Viking longboat and a john boat. We get our places and begin the tour. We travel along shallows until we get to the next patch of civilization. The boat can travel on water or land somehow, and the captain takes us in to a room of historical significance to the town. It’s where important treaties were signed. During this stop, i see the captain say to someone “I know what you’re going through. I have something that might help.” I look around to see who he’s talking to and it’s Mike. Mike has motion sickness and looks miserable. He’s sweating and shaking but has a smile on his face. Very odd. He tells us he’ll be okay so we continue on the journey. After we leave the room, we return to the water. The captain is telling us about an area of the lake where the water thickens to almost a gel consistency and is full of creatures. We (the customers on the boat) are excited and want to see. We venture into the gel waters and immediately begin seeing lots of bears and elk. We continue on until we get to a shore. It’s under a pine forest and the path that the boat takes is covered with pine needles. The shore banks pretty steeply towards the water and as we travel along this path, i see what i think is a great white shark and ask the captain if that is indeed what i’m seeing. He assures me that these gel waters are full of great whites. As he says that, i see a great horned owl standing at the edge of the water. I never realized how big those birds are and am pretty amazed at its majesty and beauty. It watches us as we move past. A little further along there’s another great white at the shore. All i can see is its head but it’s HUGE. The head is about three feet across so i know the shark is at least a twenty footer. I don’t really feel afraid or threatened by it even though it would love to eat us because i’m in the boat and too far from the water for it to affect us. Just then, a doe comes running down the hill and straight into the gaping maw of the great white. It’s horrifying and fascinating at the same time. I can’t figure out why the deer did that. We continue up the shore bank a little more than return to the gel water. I can see flashes of sharks around the lake and think that this would be a great place to study great whites because it would be so easy to keep track of them in a lake instead of the ocean. We return to our point of origin and disembark. I don’t know where Mike is now, but Scott has to do some work. I realize that i didn’t get any pictures on our boat trip and decide to take another one to get pictures. I find another boat house and purchase a ticket. This boat has a roof over it and open windows. I’m disappointed because i preferred the open boat, but take a seat by one of the windows. The people on the boat are a mix of men and women, mostly my age or older. We start the tour on a main road through town. The buildings are old and elegant. I begin snapping pictures with my film camera. The sun is starting to set and the colors of the sky behind the geometric shapes of the buildings are very pretty and i point it out to the man in the seat next to me. He asks me about my camera and i show him it’s a Minolta X370 with a zoom telephoto lens. I step out side on to the deck of the boat. I’m a bit wobbly and afraid i might fall off so i try to stay in the center. Two of the ladies from the tour are outside also and i feel like maybe i’m interrupting them but they’re friendly. I return inside to my seat to continue taking pictures. We’ve started up a long hill through the woods to our next stop.

By this time it’s fully night and very dark. We arrive at the building – it’s some kind of fish processing plant? and we disembark. The fluorescent lights are comforting in the dark. As we walk through an entry way, there are several black men wearing white sailor looking uniforms (Jamaican?) handing each of us a sandwich wrapped in wax paper. The two women that were on the deck with me are ahead of me in line. The take their sandwiches and walk through another set of doors. I take my sandwich and i’m thinking “i hope this doesn’t have mayonnaise on it” and try to follow where the other women went but can’t find the door they went through. I turn around and go out the way i came in. The sailor men look at me kind of puzzled but don’t stop me. When i get back outside i realize that this is the end of the tour and i begin to panic because i don’t know where i am. I remember i have my cell phone and turn it on to call Scott. At first i can’t get a signal so i move away from the building, closer to the road and place where the boat is parked. I finally get Scott on the line and it’s a crackly bad connection and i can hardly hear him. I ask if he’ll come and get me and he asks where i am. I ask one of the plant workers where this place is and all he says is “Canada.” I ask him “WHERE in Canada” and he says the name of the town. I’ve never heard of it but figure it must be right over the border. Then i’m in a van going back to where Scott and Mike are and we’re going back through the buildings that i’d take photos of earlier and i realize i was never in Canada. I’m disappointed with the second boat tour because i’d really wanted to go back on the gel lake to get pictures of the sharks. I still have the sandwich in my hand and i don’t know whether to keep it or throw it away.

there's no accounting for taste

Scott and i are in the mall i go to sometimes in dreams. We’re rushing through a department store to ?catch a plane? As we go through the ladies dresses i want to stop and look at some of the ones made of fabrics that catch my eye but we’re in too much of a hurry. Just as we leave the dress department we enter a mostly empty room and there’s a sale bin full of funky hats. Scott tells me that the great big purple velvet Mad Hatter style hat is totally me and we stop so i can try it on. It’s HUGE and it seems like if i put it on it’ll go all the way over my head like an upside down trashcan but i see that inside is a pink ‘tube’ that keeps the hat sitting on top of the head. As i’m putting it back the contact in my left eye falls out. I tell Scott to hold his horses and help me find it but i’ve already found it. It’s a soft type lens and i only wear one in my left eye for some reason. I know i need to put it back in my eye before it dries out so i wet it with my spit and stick it back in my eye. We continue to where ever it is we’re going.

Big pink tube. Right. Some kind of weird sex dream. UCK! It always makes me cringe when i see basketball players putting their contact back in their eye after it’s been on the court by just spitting on it. Gah. Good way to lose an eye.

Left eye. Vision correction. That is a key point to the dream but it's message isn't immediately clear to me. I need to examine how i 'look' at something and maybe correct it? But what? Dresses and hats. Maybe my own self image? That could be. But only the left eye. A belief i hold that is skewed? Hmmm. Interesting. Maybe my subconscious will give my waking mind further hints tonight.

Yesterday, three different times in totally unrelated circumstances i heard the phrase "There's no accounting for taste." The Universal Mind is definitely trying to tell me something. Somehow this is all synchronistically related.

Mind the reefs

In the dream, President Obama is sitting across from me at a school cafeteria table. To his left is a boy child of around 8 years of age. There are a lot of other people in the cafeteria but not at our particular table. President Obama and i are talking about ?? and i agree that of all people i could ever sit down and break bread with, it would be ??. I realize that by making that statement President Obama and the child could infer that i’m not thrilled to be speaking with President Obama (which i am) and i say “I’m already having lunch with you, otherwise you’d be my first choice” and the President laughs and tells me it’s okay.

I think that this dream was a result of seeing the headline of an about President Obama being interviewed by some kids in a fourth grade class and telling them if he could have dinner with any person, living or dead, it would be Mahatma Gandhi. The person we were talking about in the dream wasn’t Gandhi though. It was a black man. I don’t think it was MLK, but maybe. Maybe it was Nelson Mandela (although he’s not somebody i’ve ever consciously thought about wanting to meet). The presidents answer to the children reassures me that he will do what needs to be done based on finding peaceful solutions without jeopardizing security. Our ship is still moving in the right direction.

A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination. -- Nelson Mandela

Tea with Yoko (three dreams)

I’m in some kind of Oz-like patchwork landscape. I’m talking to ?The Tin Woodsman and explaining why i have to get home before dark but i can’t make him understand me and i’m getting frustrated.

Yoko and i are sitting at a small round table on a sidewalk outside of a café (Raleigh Times?). She’s is telling me about her new album and her feelings about music in general. A few tables up the sidewalk from us, behind Yoko, i can see Blade is making funny faces and mocking her. I’m mad but try not to laugh too.

Me’n the sabre-tooth are playing in the living room. He looks so fat and healthy and i feel happy.

Air Show

I’m attending some sort of public event with my parents and a sister. Audree? Or maybe it’s my niece Cameron. It seems like i’m a kid or teenager in the dream AND grown up like now. Anyways, it’s some sort of celebration along the lines of 4th of July but it’s not 4th of July. Maybe an air show like at Pope? The ‘pavilion’ where the celebration takes place is a combination of table seating in a large cafeteria-type room, an open air sports stadium like where football or soccer matches are held, and a large roundish open air cement platform suspended well above the ground somehow, under a cover but overlooking the stadium. We walk through the tables and people and get to the platform. There are already some people there so we split up to find places to sit. The view is over the stadium looking down into it. I can see that the seats are filled and there are a lot of military vehicles on the field. They look like toys from so far away. I’m careful to be considerate of the people behind me and not block their view. I lay down on my side right at the front of everybody, a few feet from the edge of the platform and rest my head on my jacket. The show starts. It’s some kind of ‘military’ thing to show off their technology. Some sort of flying objects (UFO’s) are performing amazing acrobatics inside the stadium. They look like spheres of some light metallic material, flying around each other in formation. It’s enthralling the crowd, and we watch in silence, awed by the beauty of the flying orbs.

Then the scene changes to, i guess, after the exhibition. All the people are now kind of milling around talking about what they’d just seen and i don’t like being in the crowd and go out to an outside patio. There’s a big swimming pool but nobody is in it. There are several wooden picnic tables on the patio. I can see the silhouettes of small groups (two or four) of people standing around talking. It’s dark outside except for the light that spills from big plate glass window of the ‘cafeteria’ room and some torches that are burning around the pool, lighting the water orange in places. It’s nice out here. I’m standing next to a picnic table and don’t realize there’s a man sitting on top of it. He speaks to me and then i see him. He’s older and graying with a neatly trimmed beard. Handsome, wearing a military uniform. I feel drawn to him even though he’s older than i am. We talk but i can’t remember about what now. I realize he 'likes' me and get very nervous. I tell him i have to find my family and return inside the cafeteria room where the crowds of people are still milling about after telling him goodbye. I'm torn. I don't want to leave him but i don't know how to respond to him or what i'm supposed to do, how to behave in an 'adult' situation.

Reunion dream

The pressure to come to the reunion is invading my dreams. Susan called me up and asked to meet me at the casino. I drive along a two-lane country road and come to the ‘casino’. It’s a kind of open air snack bar. I park in a gravel parking lot and walk towards the shelter. It’s a large cement pad with a roof over it and a wooden concession stand along the back. No walls. There are wooden picnic tables lined up in rows of four tables across about six tables deep. Susan is sitting at a table one in from the front left. I join her and we embrace. It’s been decades. Her husband is at home so she can’t stay long. We talk about the reunion and i tell her that i won’t be attending but that people keep asking me to. She says she understands and smiles. We talk about ?her dad. It’s getting dark and she needs to leave. We walk out to the parking lot together. She gets in a dark blue four-door sedan – i think it’s a Volvo – and heads out on the two-lane country road going right. I get in my car and think about my old classmates that have been in touch with me and go through their names like in a mental rolodex. I feel torn about going/not going but know i won’t go and start up my car to drive away from the ‘casino’.

No secret message there. That’s reality. I got the latest contact from DaveW asking me about the class reunion. He graduated a year early like i did so never gets the reunion stuff from the class he really associates himself with. It might be paranoia, but i wonder who asked him to contact me when he could have just as easily looked up the information himself. It doesn’t matter i guess. But he still lives in VA and so do a lot of my old classmates. Guess it could’ve been synchronicity but really doesn’t feel magical like that.

Ah! I just realized the ‘casino’ was Mr. Sabula’s land where us Trails End Road kids used to play softball and he used to hold his annual Polish picnic. That was an amazing event. Steamers and music and people. Kielbasa and beer (for the adults) and games of chance to play. Everything, even the games, were home-made out of wood planks. There was a wooden stage…. I’d forgotten about that. After several years when, i guess, his alcoholism got incapacitating his family put a stop to the picnic. I always assumed that they didn’t like the idea of him spending his money instead of keeping it in the bank so they could inherit it all, along with all his property. But then it got so they wouldn’t even let us use the field to play softball which didn’t hurt the field OR cost anything. He was nice but they weren’t. Hmmm. I wonder what that land looks like now. Probably covered with houses. Maybe a 7-Eleven. Manassas (Independent Hill). It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Best to keep it buried, wot?

bizarro weekend of dreams

Friday night: In the dream i’m having a serious conversation with somebody when the edge of sleep and awake blurred and i woke myself up answering a question out loud. That happened three times. When i looked at the clock it was 1:47am. I wish i knew who i was speaking with and what we were talking about. Each time i woke myself up i fell right back in to the dream. That’s kind of unusual i think.

Then i dreamt a place i’ve never been before. I didn’t know any of the other people in the dream except Scott and there were a lot of people, mostly tall men (AVP players?). The men have picked Scott and me up from ?the airport and are taking us back to their ?house. Traffic is moving pretty fast and not too heavy when one of the men sees a man on the side of the road that, apparently, he knows. We pull over and rearrange luggage to make room for the other man and continue to our destination. It was like a mall and a resort and futuristic condos and apartments. The home/condo of the people Scott and i were staying with is really incredible – big round rooms and large open spaces. Very Deco feeling to me. The main room (living room) is all open space for two (or more) storeys. The one wall over looking the pool is all glass. The view is amazing. On the back wall of the room i can see there’s a loft higher up and guess that it’s the master bedroom and think that i’d like to go up there to look but can’t see how to get up there). There’s a large open spiral staircase – not a complete spiral but a kind of free-hanging large curve which i think i will go up later and explore. We’re all lounging around on the plush white couches in the living room and i’m telling the people about my earlier dream i’d had that i woke myself up talking out loud. We go outside to the swimming pool. It’s a kind of roundish natural kind of shape. Not really a kidney shape but like a pear or leaf or something oblong like that. It’s surrounded by a stone patio and very beautiful. I go back into the house and into the kitchen to get a beer and the kitchen is very small like a galley. I look in a little cupboard near my feet and see a bunch of beers but they’re not cold and they’re not good brands so i check the fridge. There are two six-packs that contain bottles that i think are beer but the bottles are an odd shape for beer. I take one out from each of the six-packs. One bottle has a blue label and the other has a green label. I return to the pool and give Scott one of the beers. They taste pretty good. Then several of us leave the pool and walk through a nicely kept lawn to the edge of some woods. There’s a barely visible path that one of the tall men points out and we walk up the path until it ends at a secret rose garden. It reminds me of the Shakespeare Garden in Golden Gate Park. Simple but beautiful. We return to the pool to swim and relax in the sun some more but i’m tired of water and go in the house. I walk up some stairs and down a hall. And the dream theme shifts. I realize i can’t find my ‘stuff’. I had two suitcases and a big flat case that was the size of a formal dining room table but only a couple of inches deep. All my cameras, lenses and filters are in those bags and i’m frantic that i can’t find them or even remember what happened to them. I ask Scott but he doesn’t know either. I begin to fear that my stuff got left on the side of the road when we rearranged the van to make room for that guy on the highway. I keep asking Scott to intervene for me and ask the tall men if they know but Scott tells me to ask them myself. I don’t know them though and i’m embarrassed to ask them. Scott and i walk through the kitchen galley out the other side and into a mall. It’s not the mall i go to sometimes in dreams. It’s a new place completely. We walk down the mall a bit when Scott goes in to a door that’s an apartment. I don’t know whose apartment it is and feel very nervous being there without permission. Scott is looking for something and i leave and go back out into the mall. Once out there though i begin the panic because i’m lost and go back in to the door to the apartment where Scott is, except it’s not the same apartment. I go through the kitchen and out the door and i’m back in the mall but in a completely different place. I think i know how to get back to where i was so i walk around a wide hallway with a marble floor and statues along the walls. As i turn the curve, Scott comes out of the apartment where he was and begins to berate me for getting lost again. We go back in to the apartment he just came out of and there are two blond girls in the kitchen fixing tea. I’m pissed because i thought that he shouldn’t have been in that apartment without permission but the girls don’t seem to take any notice of us. Scott looks at my Life Is Good backpack and asks me if that’s the only purse i have and i respond that it’s either the backpack or a square shaped cosmetic bag. I can tell he’s annoyed with me for being underdressed and getting lost. I feel completely inadequate. We argue a bit then decide to go to a show. We walk back the way i’d just come, over the marble floor, past the statues and come to the ornate entry way to a theatre. There’s a live music show so we buy tickets and go sit down in the red velvet seats. It’s like an old time movie theatre. Plush and gilded. There are four of us seated in our row. Scott is sitting at the end by the row and i’m sitting in the seat on the aisle. There’s a man sitting is the seat next to me, to my left, explaining something about the show but i can’t understand what he’s saying because i feel like he’s crowding me. He’s a large white man in his thirties. He reminds of me John Goodman or George Wendt (Norm on the old show Cheers, where everybody knows your name). Finally the show starts and it’s some kind of musical performed by amateurs and not very good so we leave.

Saturday night: A news report on television. As the news reporter describes what has happened, i’m witnessing the event as if it is unfolding. Three people, two men and a woman (all black) have robbed a ?party and are running away from the house. The woman is wearing a beautiful sea foam green satin dress. The news reporter describes that she is running and shooting behind her as she runs. I see how she is wrapping her left arm around her body and shooting behind. Large Rottweiler’s come out of the house and chase the three. One of the Rottweiler’s lunges for the woman and sinks its teeth into her flank (side/back). The woman screams for help and one of her companions tears the dog off of her. The reporter comments that dog must’ve lunged at just the right time to avoid being shot and shows a graphic on the screen behind him of a drawing of the woman, the dog, and the bullets. The robbers get into their van (the black van from yesterday’s dream?) and make their getaway. They (we i guess – them and me the omniscient dreamer) are on a highway and the woman in the satin dress is lying in the back in pain. There’s an old black woman trying to examine the wound but satin dress is fighting her. Finally the old woman tears the dress away from the wound and we see that a big chunk of her flesh is just gone and it’s a big bloody open wound. The old woman (she seems to be a nurse so that’s what i’ll call her) has some sterile gauze held with forceps and is trying to clean the wound but still satin dress fights her. Then there is a white girl with blond hair trying to assist the nurse. Satin dress has a two-pronged fork (like a pickle fork) and stabs the white girl in the throat. She, blond girl, clutches her hand to her throat because her wind-pipe has been punctured. She looks to the others for help. The driver of the van pulls off to the side of the road, gets out of the van and walks around to the side. He slides open the door and pulls the dying white girl out of the van and throws her down on the grassy shoulder. He gets back in the van and resumes driving and we can see the girl crawling after the van holding her throat and crying.

Now the van is on a busy highway (it reminds me of the bypass around Chicago) and there’s tons of traffic including big eighteen wheelers. We have to change lanes to get onto the track (like a roller coaster chain) to make it to the top of the hill. We can’t get over to the lane in time and end up in a tunnel. I try to read the road sign just before we enter the tunnel but can’t see what it says. On the other side of the tunnel we come to the hill but now we have to drive up and over it. Now the dream is changed and i am driving a small car and apparently the other story is finished. I’m flooring the gas trying to get up the hill. I can’t make it and roll back down backwards, trying to avoid the big rigs. When i get to the bottom i try again to get up enough speed to make it. It takes several tries but i finally make it to the top of the hill and stop at a truck stop/restaurant to get directions. It’s a diner on the inside and the dream changes again. I’m back to being the omniscient dreamer watching.

A man and woman sit down in a booth. They are a non-descript middle-aged white couple. Very “happy days” in style. The table placemats are paper with a map of the United States on it and the interstate highlighted with all the kitschy tourists attractions noted along the route. Hwy 66? The man tells the woman that they have to go to ?St. Louis to settle the matter and then they can return to their home and not have to worry about “it” ever again. The woman is nervous about the whole thing but follows along because she doesn’t have any other option apparently. The couple resumes driving and reaches a town that’s all red brick buildings. Even the high-rises are red brick. It looks like some kind of big factory or institution. I (the dreamer) am alone now and viewing what’s going on in rooms inside a big building. In one room, it’s some kind of manufacturing plant but i don’t notice what’s being made because of my shock at seeing a wall lined with mutant babies in harnesses being used as machine parts. Each of the babies has something horribly wrong with its limbs. Instead of hands or feet they have cogs and gears. An old man (scientist?) adds a new baby to the line and i see how its feet are hooked up into the cogs of the machine to make it run.

The scene changes again and the dream is witness in another room in another building. The room we are in is a small (8 x 10) room at the top of a long flight of steel stairs. There are steel bars on either side of the stairway and it twists back and forth with at least five steel grate landings. I realize we must be in a sort of tower. There are two infants lying on a table in a dark room. The scientist is sitting in a chair behind their heads. There are two light buttons (look like ‘tap lights’ but not quite as big in diameter) and the scientist presses one to turn on a lemon yellow light. After he does that he watches each of the babies for a few minutes then turns the light off again. After waiting for a short time he presses the other light and turns on a lime green light. Again he watches the babies like he’s expecting some kind of reaction or result. In a news flash the dreamer is getting the background story. Many years ago there was a ?radiation accident and ever since, all babies born have some kind of ‘defect’. Some of the defects are apparent (like in the gear babies) but others are hidden and scientist have to discover the power as soon as possible because they can be so dangerous which the adults learned about when one baby in a nursery full of babies had the power to make things burn and all the other babies in the nursery were incinerated. The fire baby was unburned but its cheeks were red and puffy. Ever since then every baby is tested. Then i’m back to the room with the scientist and two babies. The scientist turns off the lime green light and again waits, watching for some kind of reaction or result. Suddenly there is a noise from the stairway. A full-grown Bengal tiger is coming to the gate that leads to the room. The scientist quickly secures the gate to keep the tiger out. His fear is great. He wonders which of the babies on the table manifested the tiger and begins taking notes. He feels fairly confident that the gate will keep the tiger out and just as he thinks that thought, he is transported outside the gate into the stairwell with the tiger. Immediately he realizes that one of the babies can make things manifest and the other one can transport objects. His fear is panic now as he runs down the steel steps with the tiger chasing him. Luckily, he was transported a flight lower than the one the tiger was on so he has a head start. But still, he’s a man being chased by a tiger. He bursts out of the steel door (it is a tower) and up the path to the road. There is a royal party coming up the road on horses. The horses are ‘dressed’ in red satin with gold tassels. The first horse is carrying four dwarves (jesters?). The scientist begs them to let him ride to safety but they ignore him and ride on. The second horse is ridden by a man wearing yellow satin with red trim. He indicates that he cannot offer the scientist a ride because they are part of a parade and continues up the road. The scientist (now with the tiger almost upon him) runs up the road in the opposite direction the ‘parade’ was moving and is running as hard as he can but the tiger is right at his back now and the man realizes he is in no danger from the tiger and stops running. He turns around and pets the tigers’ big head.

The dream changes again and i am witnessing the meeting between the middle-aged couple and a panel of town elders. They are all seated at a large rectangular table. The man is sitting across plus one to the right from his wife and it’s before the ?trial has started. He hears his wife saying how she felt a little guilty for not paying their ?premiums but the two months of extra money would pay for this trip she didn’t want to be on. The husband interrupts her and tells her she must pay the monthly fee right away because a missed payment will null their contract and they’ll never be able to leave mutant town if their contract isn’t valid with the other place. Again, the dreamer is getting a news flash to explain the back story of how the couple is involved. It seems that right after the radiation accident, they, along with their baby (the fire baby) left the town and escaped. The elders want the baby back and it’s a trial to determine whether the baby has to stay or can live with the couple. It’s not the couple’s baby but the woman (a nurse?) was one of the witnesses to the aftermath of the nursery accident and grabbed the fire baby and ran away with it because she wanted to protect it. She and her husband and the baby then escaped from the town because they knew the radioactive fallout would cause any body that remained in the town to mutate. The dreamer is wondering how the radiation affected the grown up and assumes they are all insane. The elders are conferring among themselves about the fire baby and across town, the mayor of St. Louis is telling a crowd of people that the band Kiss will be coming to do a concert because they’re from St. Louis and owe the town a concert. In the dream i think to myself “well THAT sort of explains what Kiss is all about” and chuckle to myself.