A new drug

Last night i dreamed that the blood pressure pills i was taking weren’t working. I was sitting on the exam table in my nephrologist's office (but it wasn't my doctor in the dream) and asked him to give me a stronger version of that pill.He looked at what i was taking and said that he would change the drug to a completely different one. He warned me that it would have weird side-effects for the first few weeks but it was important that i continue taking it along with the other pill or else something bad could happen but before i could ask what would happen i was no longer in the room with him but was talking to him on the phone and we got disconnected. I only had one days worth of the new pills and decided to take one right away. Afterwards i remembered that the doctor had said that i’d have a bad reaction at first until i got used to it and worried that maybe i’d made a mistake in starting taking them because i didn’t have enough to continue. I tried to reach the doctor by telephone again and at first couldn't get a signal. Finally i got through but realized i didn't know the pharmacy number and hung up real quick so i could look for the number. I left the exam room went into the front office to look for a phone book. It took forever going through the yellow pages but i finally found a number and then called the doctor back. It was late and i got his service so i left a message explaining that i needed him to call me in a prescription of the new drug right away. I went out of the office and into a café. The woman i was sitting across from (my regular doc?) reminded me that the reason i had been taking the pills i’d been taking was because of their particular action in keeping the nephrons ‘open’ and the new drug didn’t have that property. I did recall hearing that from the first nephrologist i'd ever seen and even though he'd lost his license i knew he was smart about kidneys and started to panic. Just then the new drugs side-effects began and the face of the person across from me began to melt like it was made of warm wax and i knew it was going to bad if i didn’t get more of that drug.

Death dream. Lately i've been feeling like i'm almost out of life force. I fainted a few weekends ago and have been wondering if i'm about to blow a gasket. Also though, i've been wondering if that's what death will be like - according to the boy i went down in a heap - just nothing. Waking up was like coming out of anesthesia. I didn't know where i was but felt so relaxed and rested (laying there on the floor of his garage). If i'd've never come back i wouldn't have known. Just 'gone'. The nothingness of that state felt good. What if all of this that i think is 'life' is just the visions and impressions of the dying brain? It seems like years but maybe it's fractions of seconds. Like an epic dream that goes on for days but occurs during the nine minute period between snooze alarms. I'm already dead and this IS the after life? What difference is there between 'before' life and 'after' life? Anything? I really liked that blank period of unconsciousness.