Paralyzed with indecision.

Scott, somebody else, and i are in a rental car rushing to get to the airport. We’re in the middle of nowhere it seems. Driving on a two-lane road we finally come to one of those guard shack things with the cross-arm. Sort of like a toll booth. THIS is the airport. We see a couple of stragglers on the other side of the guard hurrying to get on the plane that’s parked in the parking lot. Scott and ?? pull over and get out of the car. We’re in Boise. I don’t know where they’re going but they ask me to take the car back to the rental place. I’m nervous about being left alone in a strange place. I ask ?? if he thinks it would be okay if i just drive the rental car home (to NC) but they’ve already run off to get on the airplane.  I’m torn. I’d like to go back to the house we were staying in to retrieve my luggage but i have no idea how to get back to it. Also, i’m not sure if i should take the car back to the rental agency and rent a different car to drive home in or just start driving home with the one i have. I know i’ll never make it home in time to get to work on Monday and wonder if i should call and tell somebody i'm in Boise. I just don’t know what to do and i'm a little bit mad that Scott left me alone.    

Another bit of another dream i remember, i’m at my high school. I’m trying to find my car in the parking lot. There’s so much traffic coming in and out i’m afraid i’m going to get hit by a car. Everything’s all jumbled up. Like the cars aren’t parked in any order, just every which way. I think that even if i find my car i may not be able to get out if i’m blocked in.  

The Greatest Show on Earth

Odd circus-like atmosphere to the dream but with a dark apocalyptic Mad Max-ish feel also.  I’m part of a small group of travelers. Four of us in an old Ford Falcon convertible. It’s faded to a very pale blue from all the years weathering in the sun. There’s not a bit of “shine” left on the finish. Sand blasted.

We’re on a dusty road. It’s near the end of the day. Dusk. The sun is sinking below the horizon just to our left behind remains of ?burnt trees.  Maybe telephone poles? We’re approaching a little town built on the side of the road and into the side of a mountain.  It reminds me of an Old West ghost town but with weird sideshow people populating it. The colors in the dream are muted dusty jewel tones. Reds, greens, blues, golds. It’s very pretty but fuzzy. Like soft focus.  Dreamy. There are people milling about in the street. 

It’s like some kind of biker party except the “rides” are more varied. There are bikes and trikes and cars like the one my party is in. Old, but functional. A woman wants to ?show me something, introduce me to somebody? I don’t want to leave my group but where she wants me to follow is a car parked nearby and within sight of them so i follow her. Another girl is in the backseat of this other car. She looks exhausted and is half asleep. The seats are covered in serapes that are worn but i can tell they were once bright and pretty. The first lady wants me to come with them and the backseat lady is nodding in agreement. I’ve very uncomfortable and want to get back to my friends but feel like if i don’t handle the situation right all hell will break loose. 

That’s all i remember now but i’m pretty sure there was more.    

The calendar

I’m at work. It looks like the old Water’s Edge office. I’m trying to log my work time and can’t figure out why i’ve worked the 1^st through the 6^th. I ask Susan (from elementary school) how it can be that i’ve worked six days straight when a work week is only five days. She can’t explain but understands the dilemma. I’m really puzzled and keep looking at my wall calendar over and over. I realize that something is wrong with the calendar and some days have been removed. With a start i realize i’ve missed an appointment because of the mix-up.

I have multiple calendars so i toss the one that is ‘bad’ and move the ‘good’ one to center it now that the other is gone. I can’t decide whether to cover up my Yellow Submarine print or another charcoal drawing (i no longer remember what it pictured).  I really don’t want to cover either but finally decide to cover the black and white picture. I have ANOTHER calendar and i take that one down to by where i’m sitting. The only place to hang it is on the wall behind the coat rack. I figure it’ll be okay there. As long as there are no coats hanging on the rack i can see the calendar. 

Tequila dreams

I'm in the mall i go to sometimes in dreams and i’m trying to find the way to get to the Disney level. I see families with Disney memorabilia walking so i go in the opposite direction thinking that i’ll find more signs as i get closer to where i want to be. There are lots of narrow escalators and i see one that looks promising but it’s blocked by some people looking at an electronic sign. The people are excited about it – it’s a new Disney feature that allows you to be projected into one of several different Disney movies. I think it’s a pretty cool concept too but i really want to get on that escalator and say “excuse me” loudly so they move enough to let me through.  I’m on the escalator going down. It’s very steep and i can’t see the bottom. It’s almost like a ride but not too scary. 

As i descend, my surroundings become much more “metal” like i’m in a Geiger painting. At the bottom of the escalator there is chaos. Hundreds of black ops soldiers chasing down other soldiers. I can’t tell which side it the “good” side and which side is the “bad” side. Both sides are being brutally murdered and i’m just trying to find another escalator to get to another level. I’m confused and not sure if what i’m seeing is a “reality” or some sort of Disney effect. It feels real. As i watch the mayhem, i see a large wave of ?energy sweep the black ops soldiers off into a containment area. They are alive but each one is swept into a body sized indentation in the floor of this giant metal room. As i watch, a thick iron “lid” slides over each soldier in their individual graves and traps them. Then water begins to fill the room and some of the soldiers begin to scream in terror although most of them are stoic as you’d expect a Special Forces soldier to be. 

The screams of the few men are very upsetting to me but as i continue to watch, a molded metal sarcophagus appears on top of every grave and all sound is silenced. I’m badly shaken by this sight and get the feeling that these were “the bad guys” but i still don’t feel anything positive from the outcome. I return to the previous level. The people that were blocking me from entering the escalator earlier are still admiring the electronic sign and i’m surprised that nobody realized what just happened at the other level. I make my way back through the mall and just want to get out of there.

 

Now i’m in ?an arcade? playing a game. It’s a large flat panel, about the size of an oversized book. Like a coffee table book. There’s a sort of maze-like path in white on a dark, either black or dark blue, background. There’re two little cars. The object of this game is for the second car (represents me, the player) to keep up with the first car as it drives through the maze. I’m keeping up really well but then get sidetracked in one of the maneuvers so i have to start over again. This goes on for many times. Each time i am able to keep up with th first car for longer and longer, but eventually lose track as we go through “rooms” of open space. There are some people watching me play and they are telling me that i must stop the first car from reaching its destination or we’ll all die. I’m trying and it’s kind of fun, i don’t really feel pressured to win but just want to just to do it. Finally, i keep up with the first car, all through the mazes and open spaces and i’m just about to reach the end game where the first car leave the game through a line of code and i have to follow to turn the game into reality when Mike says something to me and i lose my concentration. I’m really pissed because i was SO CLOSE.

Great dreams! Very disorientating and disturbing. 

Conspiracy Wombats

I’ve had an epiphany and now know that the American Civil War was allowed to happen so that, while people were occupied with the war, the government could kill/murder/eradicate the Indians. Having read Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee i realize the truth of my conspiracy theory. Knowing that, i can see that everything that is going on today (wars, murders, genocide) is a cover for more dire things happening of which most people aren’t even aware.  I’m in a room with several display tables. There are a few other people in the room, some manning the tables, some just wandering about. I have a magic marker and an easel holding a giant pad of paper as tall as i am. I’m writing down the conspiracy theory about the Civil War and the Indians and i’ve filled up one page and have started on the next. I specifically remember writing down the part of having read Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee.

  

Another dream. It’s in a house i’m not familiar with but i know the man who owns it and his son. It’s night time and i’m outside in the yard ?because i hear something? and out on the lawn i see some kind of creature. It’s furry and about the size of a large rabbit but it’s got a square shaped head, a square shaped body – sort of stout looking – and a short tail with a tuft of fur on the end. Like a lion tail but much shorter. These creatures have soft looking fur all over them that’s fluffier on the head and torso and shorter on the legs and tail (before the tuft). I’m fascinated and want to get closer but i have no idea what these animals are or what their temperament might be. I walk out further into the yard and realize there are hundreds of these things spread out over the yard in little groups of three to five. Some are smaller and i guess those are children. They move a lot like rabbits. Kind of a hop hop walk motion. I decide to go around to the back yard and go back inside. In the back yard there are more of these creatures and some regular rabbits. Then Hazel is there with me and the man who owns the house comes out the back door and is yelling at me because Hazel broke through the door (like that’s MY fault??). I tell him that Hazel is smart enough to go out the doggy door in the front of the house and run around to get to me and i don’t know why he’s mad at me because she’s not my dog anyways. He and his son board up the door with some plywood but while they’re doing that Hazel busts through it again. I’m wondering what’s going on with her because i know without a doubt that she knows to go through the dog door and go around. Then the man and his son are bringing out some kind of blow-up pond that was in the room that the door leads into. He’s really mad at me because the room has to be completely dismantled and it’s going to be a lot of work. I get a vision of what the room was. It was decorated like a pond in the woods and had butterflies and frogs and all kinds of stuff you’d see at a pond. Tiger lily’s and pitcher plants. Pretty cool but very dusty and worn. The son tells the dad that maybe it’s a good thing to take it all down so it can be cleaned up and restored to what it’s supposed to be. While that’s going on, one of the funny creatures has gotten close to me and i can’t resist petting it. It’s got little square white chiclet teeth like a human child and the corner of one tooth nicks my finger. It doesn’t draw blood but i wonder if i should worry about rabies. I make a conscious decision to “wait and see” even though it would mean dying of rabies but i really don’t want anybody to hurt the little creatures on my account. I feel fairy certain i won’t get rabies.

Warning/reminding dream:  I have to pee and i sit on the toilet and start to pee. As soon as i hear the sound of my pee hitting the waster i get upset because i remember i’m supposed to collect every bit for my 24 hour test and now i’m going to have to start over on another day.  

*sigh* Today IS the 24 hour collect my pee day for creatinine clearance test. Such a pain in the ass.

Those creatures were very cute. I had the idea that they were some type of wombat and rabbit mixed.

The conspiracy theory was stupid. Why would a government let two parts of the same country kill each other like in the civil war just so the people wouldn’t notice government wiping out another  race of people that many people wanted dead anyways? It didn’t make sense to me even in the dream. It’s been a long time since i read Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee and don‘t know what prompted it to bubble up from my unconscious. Maybe what's going on in Libya? America is all supportive of the underdogs now like we're all holy and special but we've got a lot of blood on  our paws too. Unfair.