The conversation with Sharon continues...

Last night i dreamed Sharon was dismantling her Herndon house to move it somewhere else. I thought it was cool how the walls and stuff snapped together like Lego blocks. The place Sharon was moving to was uninhabited and looked like pasture land. Rolling countryside and open fields. Like how Herndon and most of Loudoun County used to be. The house was mostly dismantled. Sharon and i were going to go sit in the lawn chairs that she’d arranged in the dismantled living room (no roof overhead). Sharon was saying something about how mad she’d been with me for the Flora incident. I got pissed and told her that she didn’t have any right to be mad at me for speaking the truth and that i had been so mad at her for using a friend like that. Right after we had that exchange everything was fine again. We begin putting the house back together but it was hard to tell, with some of the shorter walls, which way was up and which way was down. I ask her if she's heard from Vic or Lynn. [She replies something positive i think, but awake i can't remember the words she said.] Sharon’s friend Elaine was there too i think. Also, there was a cow that kept checking everything out and getting in the way, walking in and out of the open spaces. Something about the place Sharon was moving… it wasn’t too far from Padre Island TX which was why moving there (obviously she’s no longer in Herndon) makes it less of a loss.

The ‘Flora’ incident was what ended our friendship. It was an unspoken ending, but an ending nonetheless. That’s been ? fifteen years ago? A long time ago. After i relayed the dream (minus the bit about the Flora incident) Sharon emailed back:

WOW! Cool dream...We must still have our psychic or telephathic connection still after all this time! I sent you an email (reg email) to look at a little house I've been looking at. It's out in Pulaski Tenn. HA! Not that I'd move there...but, with BRAC and the job moving to Huntsville AL, I've looked at the area (no there's been no offer to move). I just wanted to look. And while looking, I stumbled on this cute house! It's So Me!!! Love the floor length windows (dog can look outside during the day)...Beautiful transom glass over some of the doors. OLD sink (too cool)... great back entrance for gardening and messy dog paws. Then that cute ass back yard and patio area...and old stone work and iron fence!!! AGHHHHH. And a little cute garden shed...handy for me to fill the back-back yard with perennial gardens and all my iris! Was thinking it would be nice to pick up that house and place it HERE!!! That's what you must have picked-up on! Way cool! Where the hell the cow came in...have NO IDEA! Love you!

It is a psychic connection. I have that with all the people i connect with at a soul level. Even people i haven't met yet. With people i have met, it's like living inside the same skin sometimes. And it IS a very cute house! I’d like it too because i love old houses (even though this looks like a new house styled to contain elements of the past) and love rounded doorways. I've always wanted to live in a house with a turret. Or just live IN a turret. But HUNTsville. That's where my little sister was born. How weird. http://peek.snipurl.com/t24en [www_valleymls_com]


Anyways, i know that Sharon wants me to call her to talk on the phone and “catch up” as she calls it ever since our class reunion a few weeks ago when we reconnected in facebook. Besides generally hating talking on a telephone, i’m unsure about resuming our friendship. I don’t have that quality that lets me be halfway. When love is involved, it’s all or nothing. I can’t be friends with somebody i don’t trust. If she used me like she used the Flora's it would not worth the pain it would bring. But on the other hand…. maybe she doesn’t even remember the Flora incident. She always had a lot of friends so me disappearing from her busy life wouldn’t have been noticeable probably. We were so close once. So different but compatible. Shadow/Light. Yin/Yang. She's very secretive and i have no secrets. I'm invisible and she's flash. She always wondered what people were saying about us after we’d left the ‘party’. I tried to explain to her that probably nobody even noticed we were gone, but in her mind, her presence would’ve HAD to have been missed. She’s all ego, i am none. Maybe between us we make one whole person. She's like a drug to me. She fascinates me. Her loving good side is very loving and good. She just didn’t let that part of herself show enough. Isn’t that hell? To see the ‘real’ person under all the disguises and love that being but that part of the person is mostly hidden to the world and even to themselves. I suppose we're all that hidden inner somebody to somebody else too. But anyways, i think i shall not revisit the past when there's still all that Unknown ahead to be explored! So, the only thing to do is nothing and just let the journey unfold as the Universal Mind sees fit. Because the Fool's path is the one i prefer. Trust the Universe.