Three levels of reality.

This will be tricky to record. In the dream, i’m writing down (by hand) the details of a dream i had. So while i’m writing down the dream i’m remembering the dream details which is sort of like dreaming two times at once. So… i’ve just awakened and am writing down the dream. My sisters are both in the room sitting in chairs and i don’t want them to read what i’m writing. My handwriting (as usual) leaves a lot to be desired so i’m trying to write neatly so i’ll be able to read it later. I write:

In the dream i’m in a large hotel with Sharon and ??. It’s a very nice resort place and we’ve apparently checked into our rooms and are in the lobby to go explore. A young rastafari shoe-shine man stops me and says “THEY are waiting for you.” I don’t even ask who because i know. Aliens. Sharon, ?? and i leave the hotel. Immediately surrounding the hotel, like a moat, is the parking lot. It’s full of cars. We go across the parking lot to a large garage looking building. It’s an indoor gym and storage for the other outdoor sports equipment.

I get sidetracked writing because i’ve finished a page and i’m trying to decide if i should continue on the back of the paper or on another sheet. I think that if my writing bleeds through at all, it will make reading it confusing so i start again on a new sheet.

Sharon, ?? and i have gone through the garage gym and on the other side the landscape opens up. Directly behind the gym are stables for horseback riders. Beyond the stables we can see pasture land and then the edge of the forest where the riding trails probably are. The vista to the left is more open rolling hills. There are people in little carts so i’m guessing it’s a golf course but it’s very far away and i can’t really tell.

Audree is trying to read what i’m writing and i turn to hide it better.

We’re walking across a field because THEY will be waiting at the edge, hidden behind trees. Sharon and ?? are following along but they don’t know what’s waiting and i’m kind of sad because i think that they probably won’t want to come with. I wake up inside the dream and want to write it down before i forget.

And i’m back to writing it down but i keep adding more elements as i remember and i think i probably won’t be able to finish writing it all down and actually, in the writing, don’t get past the part about the gym/garage in front of the stables.

Layered dreams are hell on the brain.


And another bit… at some point between walking through the garage/gym to the stables, there was a guy putting up posters for the democrats. It had some what i thought to be juvenile stupid slogan on it and i begin berating the guy (he’s dressed like a Mormon bike missionary) for dumbing down President Obama’s message and begin shouting that he must be allowed to serve all eight years in order to rebuild the nation’s foundation to a point that it won’t matter if Bush comes back and tears it down again.

Just remembered another dream i had between the writing dream parts. It takes place in the Castlemill house. I'm thinking about killing myself but i hear people in the front of the house. I look outside the front door and see two work men pouring cement? or making some kind of well. I duck back in the house because i don’t want them to see me. I hear dad calling me and i realize he’s out there and the men are there because dad hired them. I stick my head back out the door to try and see around the corner when a little white pig comes running out of the brush by the road and right into the house. I try to stop it but it’s too strong even though it’s only the size of a small dog. It’s very clean looking and i wonder if it’s a pet. Mom comes around the corner from the kitchen and is trying to “shoe” the pig out but it evades us both and disappears into the back end of the house. I go back to my room to continue writing down the dream i was writing about. I decide i want some electronic pleasure and think that i’ll just bring my toy into the bathroom with me when i realize that my room is actually an entire apartment and since my sisters are gone i don’t have to leave my own space to masturbate.

Death and sex and little white pigs, oh my.

Voodoo movie dream

I only have pieces left but it was a very detailed and ‘extensive’ dream. It starts like i’m listening to a movie on my ipod. It’s apparently a movie that’s been released but i didn’t think i wanted to see it but as i listen it becomes more interesting. It seems that there is a small band of men that have asked a voodoo man for some type of power and it’s been granted. Then i’m watching a car load of young people arriving at a party place – sort of rock outcropping at the end of a gravel road. ?something happens that makes them want to leave. I can clearly see the one girl and two guys. The two guys leave and the girl stays behind.

The next scene, the vehicle the guys were in – i think it’s a jeepy kind of pickup, maybe a Scout – is laying on it’s side and i can see the bodies of the kids strewn on the road. I can’t tell if they’re hurt, dead or what. There’s a large tractor that was pulling a long flat-bed trailer stopped in the road and from what i can tell (it’s dark out) is that the kids were driving along, didn’t see the tractor pulling the trailer and crashed right into the back of it. There’s no sign of the farmer so i’m guessing that the tractor was just parked there and it’s not really a road but more like a path through the farmer’s crops. As all this is registering, three men show up on foot. They’re being kind of quiet but laughing too – like merry pranksters. They go to the bodies of the two boys and say some incantation over the corpses, stuff a twenty dollar bill and a dried mushroom in each of the boys front jeans pocket. I think they do that to throw off the authorities and make it look like a bad trip (?)

Now the scene shifts and i’m following the three men into the mouth of a cave. There’s a policeman or some kind of law steward guarding the cave to keep people out but the three men are dressed for caving and have oxygen tanks and gear so the guard doesn’t stop them. Big blank here…. It’s another ?cave or some kind of place to explore. Two guys are going in and just like the other place (or maybe it’s the same place) the guard doesn’t stop them because they look like they know what they’re doing. Scene shift again and the most recent two guys are dead and the three men are stuffing a twenty and a ‘shroom in each of the guys front jeans pocket.

Now it’s back to the girl’s story – the one that stayed behind at the party rock. She knows her friends are dead but nobody talks about it. She’s been to the site where their bodies are but she can’t touch them. It’s like some kind of force prevents them from being handled or touched. Now i’m in the passenger seat of an SUV driving through town. Scott is driving. We’re going to this house where the voodoo man that gave the guys their power lives. We arrive at the house. It’s just a little house right on a street like in any small town. It’s raised up on beams and is being restored i guess. It’s yellow and a cute house. I stay in the SUV for a minute to turn off my ipod and put it away. I’m hoping i can remember the name of the movie so i can finish listening to it.

We go into the house. It’s kind of a mess with carpenters stuff but we go back to the kitchen where the voodoo man is and it’s restored back there. As i’m walking in to the kitchen behind Scott i have an idea that the men that asked for the power had meant to ask for some other gift but worded it badly so that it got messed up when granted. I think that they meant to ask for the power to restore life and got it but not in the way they intended. They could restore life, but in doing so placed the body in a different realm. Our world could still see them but we couldn’t interact or touch them. I’m not sure why we’re at the voodoo man’s house but it might have something to do with getting the back story. There’s a large gilded bird cage in the kitchen and the bird in it is very different looking than the usual pet bird. It looks like a swift but has pretty colors like a peacock. As i’m standing and looking at the bird (the voodoo man is standing in a doorway that leads from the kitchen to another room) the bird starts sending out some kind of signal towards me. It’s like it’s singing but there’s no sound. I can see the sound moving through the air towards me. It looks like oil through water. Swirly and slow and thick. I wonder what will happen when the waves reach me when a loud singing sound intervenes. It’s the voodoo man singing a song to the bird and the words of the song are telling the bird not to expend its energy without need. The swirly oily air dissipates and the bird is quieted.

Now we’re driving to another house. It’s the house where the two guys from the cave live. The movie girl is with us now so maybe it’s really the house where the first two guys live. I’m trying to find the movie on my ipod so i can listen some more but can only find reggae channels. I think about marking the reggae channels as favorites but none of them are playing very good reggae so i don’t. Now we’re at the house. It’s just a regular house in the suburbs. I can see two guys on the car pad washing their car. They’re completely naked and hairless. They look like mannequins. The girl recognizes them as here friends and jumps out of the SUV (we’re parked in the back yard on the grass) to run to them. I’m not sure if i want to get out or not because i don’t know if they’re still people or if they’re aliens now. I can hear the girl talking to them but they don’t react. They really are like mannequins. I try to ask Scott if he knows what the name of the movie is so we can rent it and watch it later to see how it ends.

That’s all i remember now. It was a cool dream.

bike repair

I have a brand new bicycle pump. It’s the same color as my bike so i decide to pump up the tires and go for a spin. It’s been a long time since i rode my bike so i don’t plan on going very far. I’m riding on Hoadly Road heading for Taylor’s store. I get to the store and check my tires. The store still looks the same as when i was a kid. Were there really those old fashioned gas pumps out front? I don’t remember. The rear rim is bent a little, crimped sort of so the wheel isn’t fully round. I pull the crimped piece back straight. At first it seems okay but then i see that the tire and the inner tube are split and it’s beyond just needing air. I pick up my bike and start walking back home. The chain is hanging off and looks like it needs to be cleaned and oiled. The bike isn’t heavy so i really don’t mind carrying it. When i get ‘home’ (it looks like some kind of apartment complex with lots of cement walkways), i put my bike in the back of a pickup truck. I drive to the bike shop (it’s The Spin Cycle) and as i'm bringing my bike in i’m trying to decide if i want to learn how to replace the tube and tire myself or just leave it at the shop and pay to let the experts fix the tire and the chain.

Brian and Freddie

I’m at a restaurant with several people including Scott and Mike. I think it’s Mellow Mushroom (since we were there last night that’s not a surprise). I hear live music and walk around a partition to find the source. Freddie Mercury and Brian May are in the restaurant playing! They’re both playing guitar, no vocals. I’m mesmerized by Brian’s finger work and watch him pretty much exclusively. I think Freddie is playing an acoustic but i’m not sure. Even in the dream i know that Freddie is dead so i’m kind of surprised at my lack of excitement over seeing him alive again. All my attention is focused on Brian May, his red guitar, and the thick coin he's using for his pick. The table in front of them is covered with musical notes and as i watch Brian’s hands i try to read the music (it’s upside down for me) to see if that’s what he’s actually playing. When i look up at his face he’s looking back at me and our eyes lock. His eyes are full of kindness and i'm filled with love and happiness.

Morph to a highway with many lanes but little traffic. I’m driving a little zoomie car like a Metro or a Mini. There are a couple of other little cars on the road with me and we’re all driving pretty fast. I’m in the farthest left lane and there’s one car behind me and one lane over. There’s another car way over in the lane second to the right (there’s seven lanes on our side of the divide). I’m worried that i might get a speeding ticket but when i check the speedometer, i’m only going 55. I turn on the radio and a Queen song is playing with Brian is tearing it up on his guitar. I’m happy we made eye contact at the restaurant and wonder if he’s maybe in one of the other cars on the highway.

So random to see Freddie and Brian in my dream. Love me some Dr. May.

Theatre of the Unconcious

Early dream and i'm back in the same motel room as last night. Now i realized that the little girl has been drugged with grape flavored liquid benedryl. I can smell purple grape smell. The child is very sleepy and confused about what's happening and just wants to lay down and sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm attending some sort of event in a concert hall. It’s psychedelic images projected on a screen (like old Avalon Ballroom or Fillmore concerts) with live dance on stage. I’m sitting towards the right side of the theatre not too far back from the stage. The projector is being hand held by the man sitting to my right. He looks like Dustin Hoffman as he appeared in Papillon. The light from the projector is very bright and i have to remember to keep my eyes on the stage because if i look to my right, i’m blinded by white light. The theatre is old. It reminds me of how the Rialto was back in the early 80’s (before the original padded steel chairs were replaced with the nasty rocking type chairs it has now) but not as sloped so when the burly frat boys that are sitting to the front and center of my position make shadow figures on the screen all i can see are their big white arms waving around. They don’t do it too much so i don’t even have time to get annoyed with them. The dancers are children. One boy, very talented and graceful, is dancing with a little girl. They look like miniature ballroom dancers and i find myself entranced by the performance. At the end of the dance, the boy makes a kind of leap that Nijinsky was famous for – grace defying gravity. As he leaves the stage i meet him off to the side and tell him how much i enjoyed his dancing. I tell him that years ago i saw Baryshnikov dance on that very same stage (so apparently we’re at Memorial Auditorium because that’s where i saw Baryshnikov) and i was just as thrilled at this performance as i was at the other.

I leave the theatre with two men (a couple, but not Scott and Mike). It’s pouring rain outside and the lights from the theatre reflect off the pavement and it’s very pretty. As we pass by some people sitting on the curb under umbrellas i grab one of the umbrellas and say “thank you!” as i continue walking to where my car is. It’s a HUGE umbrella and i put it over me and the couple i’m walking with. The one man looks back at me and smiles. His teeth are abnormally white. Almost blue white against his brown skin, but he’s very handsome. (I think it’s Tyler’s boyfriend from New Zealand.)

We get to the parking lot where our cars are parked. They get in a red ?Jaguar convertible hard-top. I turn to where my car is parked and i’m appalled to see that i’ve left the front windows half-way down and i’m worried that my car will be soaked from the rain. As i walk closer i see that my car has been ravaged. There are three large black men in it tearing apart the interior. The car is sitting on the axles because the wheels have been stolen and it’s smoldering because it had been on fire. I run over to my car and ask the men what they think they’re doing with my car and they tell me they’re preparing to tow it away. I’m very angry that somebody broke into my car (even if the windows were down) and wrecked it. I’m especially pissed because the tires weren’t but a few weeks old. As the men continue breaking the car down into pieces i dial 9-1-1 to get a policemen to come and take a report. At first my cell phone won’t get any signal. I move closer to the road and finally get through but only can get a busy signal. I’m very frustrated and decide to just leave and deal with it later but when i go to see if the men i’d been with would give me a ride, they’d already left. I was annoyed that they’d leave me because they’d obviously seen what had happened to my car and they left me stranded anyways. I think “selfish pigs” to myself. I note that the little shopping center where my car was parked has a Lebanese (maybe Greek) restaurant. I need to remember it so i can get back to it again.

I begin walking down the street to go back to the theatre but realize i’ve gone in the opposite direction to where i need to be. I turn around to begin walking back the way i’d come and realize i’m a seedy neighborhood full of ugly light brown brick public housing apartments. The apartments are on only one side of the street. On the other side is just open empty lots covered with weeds and bits of trash. I see a street sign and it says Chavis Heights. Now i’m afraid because i’m alone in a dangerous neighborhood. I look down the street and there’s nobody outside. I look at the apartments and the windows are just dark and emotionless like empty shark eyes. I decide that i made it IN to the neighborhood without any problem so maybe i’d get back out okay too. As i walk back the way i’d come, i avoid stepping on broken beer bottles. The bottles are brown glass. Further up the street in front of me i see a small group of black children. There are five of them, a mix of boys and girls. The youngest looks to be about seven and the oldest is maybe twelve. I’m a little nervous but as i get closer one of the middle boys (maybe nine or ten years old, wearing a red striped shirt and a ball cap) walks back to where i am and walks with me. He brings me to his house (apartment) and tells me i can use his phone. The inside of the place is very neat and clean and i feel safe there. I’m thinking i’ll call the police to tell them about my car and then go back to the little shopping center to meet an officer and make a report. I leave the apartment and continue walking up the street and realize that i’m completely lost and have no idea where i am or which way i should go.

Saved again by Strawberry Fields.

Three Disturbing dreams

I’m listening to the news and while the newscasters are discussing the missing child situation, my view is of a motel room. It’s more like a suite. There’s a sitting area by a television with a love seat and an upholstered chair. Behind that area is a larger area with two more upholstered chairs and a bed. There are four men. One is lounging on the bed, two are seated in the chairs and the other is standing behind the couch. The child is curled up on the couch surrounded by pillows. She is crying softly, trying to be as small and unnoticed as possible. The men are all black and not very old. The one standing looks the youngest. The apparent leader is maybe in his late twenties. The youngest of the men walks up to the back of the couch. He has a ?sword (maybe it’s a machete) and hacks the child in the back with it and kills her. Now i can hear news people again and they’re angry that the men won’t be eligible for the death penalty because of their ages and i’m thinking it makes no difference, the child is dead.

Deep sea creatures - whales, giant squids – are surfacing all over the Earth because all of chemical pollution is in a layer at the bottom of the ocean, forcing every living thing to rise.

In some kind of subterranean house, there are round sunken living areas with white couches that, from my vantage point, look like open O’s. There a three of these seating areas. There’s also a round pool or ‘water feature’ in the room, a stone fireplace in what appears to be a dining room. Cathy and Nate are in one of the sunken living rooms and off to the side is a baby table with a very large newborn lying on it. It’s HUGE – about the size of a year old child. Nate is standing next to me explaining that Cathy just had the baby and it’s a girl. I ask if she had a c-section and he told me no she had it vaginally. I was angry with him for letting her deliver such a large baby at home without medical intervention because if there’d been any complications both Cathy and the baby might have died. Cathy is very passive and remains seated on the couch. I touch the baby’s hair – it’s black and silky and straight like Asian hair. I tell Cathy that it’s nice that this baby is dark haired because her other baby is light haired and she agrees. [Later] Cathy and i are standing by the pool and i’m holding the baby. We talk about the baby looking more Spanish than the other baby, and i notice that the hair is getting thicker and curlier and no longer looks Asian and does look more Spanish but her skin is very white now.

false awakedness

I'm at work (unfamiliar environment though) and it's near the end of the day and i'm busy doing my day-to-day work stuff when i realize i need to be working on the 2010 CPT update because the State is waiting for my recommendation. I feel guilty for not doing that work first.

It's time to leave (i think i'm at the State's offices on Dix Campus) and i'm not sure how to get out of the place. Martha says i can follow her because she knows a short cut. Me and a few other co-workers follow her out and it is a very short walk to the auto garage. Martha gets in her car and leaves, and the other folks seem to be finding their cars too and leaving. I can't find my car anywhere and i'm hitting the panic button to get my car alarm to go off. I walk outside of the garage and see it's the first of four garages and then the office building. I realize i didn't park in the garages but parked right outside the office building. Martha's short cut only works for people that park in the garage. I'm kinda pissed because i have to figure out how to walk back to where i was (follow the 'short cut' in reverse) and then walk all the way back through the building to the parking lot.

As i'm walking along the front of the garage buildings the dream morphs. Now i'm on ?vacation in ?Savannah or maybe Charleston. I'm walking up a ramp to my room at a red brick Inn. Scott and Mike are already in the room and with a jolt i remember that i was in charge of Hazel (except in the dream she was a boy golden and her name was Jason). The street in front of the Inn is busy with cars and pedestrians and i'm frantic because Jason might get hit by a car. I try to whistle but can't. I keep trying and every once in a while a whistle sound comes out but i think it's not loud enough for Jason to hear. As i'm walking down a steep flight of cement stairs, holding on to the scrolly wrought iron railing, i see Jason running up the sidewalk towards me and i'm relieved s/he's okay.


Boring stress dream. Making sure Hazel didn't eat anything she wasn't supposed to and getting the update reviews done has been on my mind all weekend.

Work flotsam

I’m at the Waters Edge facility in the passenger seat of an old pickup truck. It’s Lavina’s and apparently she’s just driven us back to work from somewhere. Lunch maybe. We’re in the lobby of a building ?my high school? and i realized i need to get to Dr. F’s office to help out because he’s busy and needs an experienced nurse to run things. Lavina tells me i can use her pick up truck. I go back out to the parking lot in front of the Waters Edge building and see her truck. It’s faded now but was dark blue. It’s a Chevy and in pretty rough shape. I open the driver’s door and it swings all the way out and into the fender because the hinge is shot. I pull the door back to a position where i can close it once i get in the drivers seat. I realize the transmission is manual and i don’t know how to drive one but decide i can maybe figure it out and crank up the engine. As i pull out, i drive to close to ?a mailbox pole? and scrape the left fender. I feel bad even though the truck is already pretty beat up but keep driving.

I’m on a freeway that has a big tangle of overpasses. I take one of the overpasses and i’m cruising along pretty well. There are no other vehicles on the freeway or any of the overpasses and i feel like i’m in the Omega Man. Finally i arrive at the doctors’ office. I park the truck and go in to the waiting room. I’m familiar with this space and make myself at home. First i go into the business office to check the schedule and see which patients are scheduled and for what. I see that the doctor should be in a room doing a minor surgery and i hurry to change so i can assist.

I go up the hall where the treatment rooms are and it’s very damp and grim looking. It reminds me of the clinic in Pacifica. An office assistant, a young man, is coming up the hall towards me and i’m wondering if the surgery is finished. He looks at me but doesn’t say anything. I go to the end of the hall and out the back door to the back parking lot to change clothes and then return to the room where the doctor is. I enter and go to the back of the room where the sink is to scrub up. It’s not a sink though; it’s just a tile wall with a stream of water that pours out at my face level. Like a shower but the water doesn’t spray out, just down. As i’m washing my hands, i realize i’m wearing a paper patient gown with nothing underneath and my butt is showing. I’m a little embarrassed (bare assed!) and can feel the doctor looking at me. Neither of us has spoken or even acknowledged the other yet. Other people are coming in and out of the room and i can see them passing by in the hallway and they’re all in states of partial or full undress so i no longer feel embarrassed about my own state and too bad about being mostly naked myself.

I finish drying my hands and walk to the exam table. There’s a partially clothed middle aged man lying on the table and his chart is next to him on another table. I pick up the record and ask “Do you mind if i familiarize myself with the problem?” and Dr. F says “Go ahead.” Our first words are civil and i feel hopeful that our differences are far enough behind us now that we can work together again.

According to the record, this patient has five ?nodules/lesions on various parts of his back that need to be excised. They are written in the chart as a cluster of half-inch circles. I think if the circles were connected by a line it would form a star but i’m not sure. I glove up and prepare the surgery tray so we can begin. The young man comes back to the room and i remember i have to get Lavina’s truck back to her. I leave and go out the back door at the end of the hall but have to walk around to the front of the building because i remember i parked out front. I get in the truck, careful not to let the door go this time, and i’m driving on a little country road. There are mail boxes overgrown with vines along side the road, and quaint little houses along the way. I’m taking the truck back to Lavina’s house and i like the area where she lives. It feels like home.

I wake up to hear wind and rain hitting the window. My bed feels nice and warm and homey too. It's time to review and input all the new procedure codes that the AMA has come up with for 2010 so i'm sure that's what prompted this dream. All the past rolled up into a giant memory dustball.

well cared for house plants

I’m on my way to somewhere but before i go i think i should water my plants. There are a lot of plants on a big table. Most of them appear healthy and in no need of watering but a couple of small plants are dry so i water just those. I go into the living room (this is my VA house) and there’s a pot with a big plant in it. There’s smaller plants mixed in with the big one and they are all grown together and look nice. It is very healthy and bushy so i just spray it with a misting bottle to refresh it a bit. I go into the kitchen to see if there are any plants in there that need to be watered. At the counter i see somebody has left out sandwich fixings and i decide to make myself a sandwich. I put my ipod on to play Neil Young. It’s a song i really like and begin to sing along loudly. I notice that the battery is almost completely drained so i take it to the living room and switch it out for my other ipod. I plug the drained ipod in to charge and turn the charged one on to put the Neil Young song back on. I see that this ipod’s battery is in the red also and i’m surprised because i was sure it was fully charged. As i watch, the red indicator turns green and fills up the battery icon. Singing loudly along to the radio, i return to the kitchen to resume making my sandwich.

Strawberry Fields brought me back to 'now'. The phrase from the song Little Feat song Willin’ “and if you give me…. WEEEEEEED, whites and wine and you show me a SIGN….” is playing in my head and i can’t remember what Neil Young song i was listening to. Are You Ready For the Country? Down By The River? Can’t remember.

The plants looked very healthy. Sometimes when i have that kind of dream the plants are all dried out and dying because i’ve forgotten to water them for so long. I think that plants are symbolic of some aspect of my nature. Soul? Imagination? Inner well being of some kind. The fact that they were all healthy and green in this dream might suggest that i’m living in good balance right now maybe. If i think about it, i guess my mind does feel pretty lush and healthy.

The conversation with Sharon continues...

Last night i dreamed Sharon was dismantling her Herndon house to move it somewhere else. I thought it was cool how the walls and stuff snapped together like Lego blocks. The place Sharon was moving to was uninhabited and looked like pasture land. Rolling countryside and open fields. Like how Herndon and most of Loudoun County used to be. The house was mostly dismantled. Sharon and i were going to go sit in the lawn chairs that she’d arranged in the dismantled living room (no roof overhead). Sharon was saying something about how mad she’d been with me for the Flora incident. I got pissed and told her that she didn’t have any right to be mad at me for speaking the truth and that i had been so mad at her for using a friend like that. Right after we had that exchange everything was fine again. We begin putting the house back together but it was hard to tell, with some of the shorter walls, which way was up and which way was down. I ask her if she's heard from Vic or Lynn. [She replies something positive i think, but awake i can't remember the words she said.] Sharon’s friend Elaine was there too i think. Also, there was a cow that kept checking everything out and getting in the way, walking in and out of the open spaces. Something about the place Sharon was moving… it wasn’t too far from Padre Island TX which was why moving there (obviously she’s no longer in Herndon) makes it less of a loss.

The ‘Flora’ incident was what ended our friendship. It was an unspoken ending, but an ending nonetheless. That’s been ? fifteen years ago? A long time ago. After i relayed the dream (minus the bit about the Flora incident) Sharon emailed back:

WOW! Cool dream...We must still have our psychic or telephathic connection still after all this time! I sent you an email (reg email) to look at a little house I've been looking at. It's out in Pulaski Tenn. HA! Not that I'd move there...but, with BRAC and the job moving to Huntsville AL, I've looked at the area (no there's been no offer to move). I just wanted to look. And while looking, I stumbled on this cute house! It's So Me!!! Love the floor length windows (dog can look outside during the day)...Beautiful transom glass over some of the doors. OLD sink (too cool)... great back entrance for gardening and messy dog paws. Then that cute ass back yard and patio area...and old stone work and iron fence!!! AGHHHHH. And a little cute garden shed...handy for me to fill the back-back yard with perennial gardens and all my iris! Was thinking it would be nice to pick up that house and place it HERE!!! That's what you must have picked-up on! Way cool! Where the hell the cow came in...have NO IDEA! Love you!

It is a psychic connection. I have that with all the people i connect with at a soul level. Even people i haven't met yet. With people i have met, it's like living inside the same skin sometimes. And it IS a very cute house! I’d like it too because i love old houses (even though this looks like a new house styled to contain elements of the past) and love rounded doorways. I've always wanted to live in a house with a turret. Or just live IN a turret. But HUNTsville. That's where my little sister was born. How weird. http://peek.snipurl.com/t24en [www_valleymls_com]


Anyways, i know that Sharon wants me to call her to talk on the phone and “catch up” as she calls it ever since our class reunion a few weeks ago when we reconnected in facebook. Besides generally hating talking on a telephone, i’m unsure about resuming our friendship. I don’t have that quality that lets me be halfway. When love is involved, it’s all or nothing. I can’t be friends with somebody i don’t trust. If she used me like she used the Flora's it would not worth the pain it would bring. But on the other hand…. maybe she doesn’t even remember the Flora incident. She always had a lot of friends so me disappearing from her busy life wouldn’t have been noticeable probably. We were so close once. So different but compatible. Shadow/Light. Yin/Yang. She's very secretive and i have no secrets. I'm invisible and she's flash. She always wondered what people were saying about us after we’d left the ‘party’. I tried to explain to her that probably nobody even noticed we were gone, but in her mind, her presence would’ve HAD to have been missed. She’s all ego, i am none. Maybe between us we make one whole person. She's like a drug to me. She fascinates me. Her loving good side is very loving and good. She just didn’t let that part of herself show enough. Isn’t that hell? To see the ‘real’ person under all the disguises and love that being but that part of the person is mostly hidden to the world and even to themselves. I suppose we're all that hidden inner somebody to somebody else too. But anyways, i think i shall not revisit the past when there's still all that Unknown ahead to be explored! So, the only thing to do is nothing and just let the journey unfold as the Universal Mind sees fit. Because the Fool's path is the one i prefer. Trust the Universe.