Peppermint Starlight

I’m with some ladies from work. Tracy is the only one i really notice. She’s at the front of the line and i’m at the back of the line and there’re maybe four or five ladies between us. We’re walking through trees on what seems to be an animal path. It’s barely noticeable but Tracy isn’t having any problem following it. Tracy and i both notice that the pine trees we’re walking through are peppermint trees! There are bright red starlight mints on the tip of some of the branches. Tracy wants one but the one closest to her is way over her head. The one by me isn’t out of reach and i reach up and pull the branch towards me to pluck it off. The mint is attached with a strong fibrous stem. I happen to have a cutlery set of fork, spoon, and knife rolled in a paper napkin (like from a restaurant) and i pull out the table knife to saw away at the stem with the serrated edge. When i finally cut it loose i see that it’s fancier than just a starlight mint and actually it looks more like a piece of Christmas candy that has the little objects in the center. I’m excited to taste it and open up its “shell” or wrapper. There’s a tick inside. I toss the tick out into the woods and walk up the line to where Tracy is and hand her the candy. I tell her she can have if she wants to i don’t want any because ticks are dirty. She laughs and says she doesn’t want it either and tosses it off into the woods. I look around me and can easily spot the starlight mints at the end of the pine branches. There aren’t a lot really and i’m surprised because i know that MILLIONS have to be harvested to keep all the stores stocked. Tracy and i discuss and conclude that the mints on these trees are sparse because these are wild trees. The orchards where they grow starlight mints are tended and probably produce tons of mints per tree.

We leave the woods and enter a house via the ?attic and the dream changes.

There’s new plywood flooring being put down on the attic so that when you enter from the one side like i just did, the floor is all one level but if you enter from the other side, from inside the house, you go under the floor to where all the stuff is stored. Pretty clever, i thought!

Morning confusion

The only dreams i remember well now are the ones between Strawberry Fields snoozes but i think they pretty much represent the type of dreams i had all night (when i wasn’t awake, tossing and turning).

In the dream, i’m asleep and Strawberry Fields comes on. I hit the button but can’t remember if i hit the snooze button or the off button and decide i better just get up. I dump out a suitcase full of clothes onto my bed to find something to wear. I put on socks and shoes and realize i need to pee. I leave the room and i’m in some sort of giant ?cafeteria or maybe an airport terminal. I walk past many people sitting on wooden benches until i find where the restroom is and i remember that bathroom always has urine all over the floors and no doors on the stalls so i decide to walk further and find a bathroom that’s not gross. Now i’m in a mall. I don’t think it’s the one i go to sometimes in dreams. It seems different. There aren’t any stores, just store fronts. A giant bubble on a stick and i are running from the Stasi. I’m a giant bubble too i think or dressed up to look like one. Puppets? We’re running but trying to look like we’re not running. We get to a deserted part of the mall and it feels safe for the moment so we slow down. I’m still looking for a bathroom when REAL Strawberry Fields comes on again. I hit snooze and immediately fall back into the dream. I’m in my room again and looking for something to wear. I’m running late and grab some socks to put on. I’m annoyed because i know i’ve already dressed once this morning and can’t understand why i need to put socks on again and why i can’t find the socks i was wearing. As i’m running from my room to get to work i go out into the big cafeteria again. People are running all around me and i’m running and trying to figure out if Strawberry Fields is off or on snooze but when i hit some buttons i clear off the time and date. I see two workmen on a scaffold near the door and ask one of the men what the date is. He tells me the time is 7:35 which i already knew so i ask again what is the date. It’s like he doesn’t understand the question. I ask him if today is the 30th and he says it is but i’m not really convinced he knows what the date is. Just as i’m about to run out the door Strawberry Fields wakes me up and this time i get up.


I vaguely remember a dream from the middle of the night. The number 10-27 and thinking i should remember that in case it’s a winning number for the scratch off. I want to tell somebody that i’m afraid but don’t want to upset another person with my fear. Thinking about getting a gun so i can kill myself if it gets too scary and deciding not too because it’s easier to hang myself with available materials...

I am feeling pretty nervous about world events these days.

Oh! I just remembered another dream. My period is starting and i’m upset because i just finished it. I’m ranting about being on my period all the time but when i check my calendar i can see that it’s been almost a month and it’s time to cycle again but for some reason i can’t remember any of the time passing between periods.

Pretty much i had shit dreams all night i think. I’m exhausted this morning.

Merritt Island

I decided that maybe i should go back to Merritt Island and see if it might be a place i could live again, on my own. Scott is driving me. He’s driving fast, like 65 mph and i’m pretty sure the speed limit is only like 35 mph and tell him he better slow it down or he’s going to get a ticket. He just laughs and keeps on zooming in and out between the slower cars. The town is still old Florida and i’m relieved because i was afraid it would be all condos and strip malls. I’m telling Scott about the old bridge that mom used to drive us over.  It was the only way to get across to where the library is. It was an old wooden bridge that we called The Troll Bridge because it was so rickety.

Now i’m alone and on a bed on the old bridge but the bridge no longer crosses all the way over to the other side. It’s more like a dock i guess. It’s a nice place to sleep though with the palm trees and the water. As i’m lying on my side i notice a shadow in the water among the cattails. At first i think it’s a gator and i’m a little nervous but not too much because it’s in the water and i’m out of reach. Then i notice the shape of it and realize it’s a hippo! I know that hippos are really dangerous and unpredictable and i’m keeping very still so it won’t try to charge at me. I fall asleep inside the dream i guess and when i wake up inside the dream again, i notice that the hippo is gone but there’s another shadow near the foot of my bed and i realize it’s an alligator and i wake up for real with my heart pounding in my chest.

Life was good when we lived in Merritt Island. Mom was happy. Dad was happy. We could watch the rockets taking men to the moon from our driveway. We went to the beach all the time. Watched the surfers at Cocoa Beach while we ate hot dogs steamed in beer at Lum’s. The stained glass doors at Shakey’s Pizza and the music and watching the piano player. Racing the shadows the clouds made on the ground. Making little boats out of scrap wood for my trolls. Those three years were probably the last time my family was all happy. I’m sure it’s probably all condos and strip malls now. I miss it old Florida. Living by the ocean. Live oaks covered with Spanish moss. The sweet, sweet smell of the orange groves and cactus flowers. Pastures full of those weird Indian cows. Brahmas. The occasional alligator in the canal. Rain storms that were only on one side of the street. Being five years old. Ha! I just remembered. Dad put up two long shelves in my room where i could keep all my stuffed toys. One night i woke up and saw that there was an alligator on the lower shelf, hiding among my stuffed toys. I ran screaming to the other end of the house to mom and dad’s room and told dad there was an alligator in my room. He jumped out of bed and we ran back to my bedroom. He turned on the light but there wasn’t an alligator on the shelf. I’m pretty sure he believed me. He checked under the bed and in the closet with a flashlight. He didn’t get mad or anything. 

Ghetto Home Depot

The part of the dream i remember starts with me in my car ?leaving work? and getting onto a highway. It’s a total cluster fuck in the work parking lot and it takes me a while to get out of there. As i’m merging on to the highway, i see a big white boat of a car (‘ 75 –‘78 caddy maybe) going the wrong way up the big curved access ramp. I don’t know if i should exit off and come around to make sure nobody is hurt by the idiot or just keep on going. I must’ve kept going because now i’m in an older  neighborhood. It looks a little rough and i’m trying to find a safe place to park my car. I pull on to one street and immediately feel like it’s a mistake and turn around. It reminds me of southwest Raleigh, around Saunders Street. Kinda ghetto. I go a few blocks closer to my destination and find a place that seems okay. I go into a store and get in line. It’s a really junky store and the merchandise is all jumbled and stacked up everywhere. I hear somebody in the line ahead of me call it Home Depot so i guess it’s a Home Depot but not like any i’ve ever been in. The floor is wood plank and other than the space for the line of people, there’s no order to anything. There is an older couple in the line directly in front of me and, to pass the time, i tell them about the idiot driver going the wrong way up the highway access ramp. They have the expected reaction of shock. The line of people is getting shorter and we’re almost to the check-out counter. The woman running the cash register looks familiar (i think she might be me). There’s another person behind the counter that looks like a character from an R.Crumb cartoon. It’s a really ugly person and it’s hard to tell if it’s a man or a woman. It walks from behind the counter and cuts through the line in front of me and i see it’s a woman. A really ugly woman. As she passes by me she practically gets in my face and looks directly into my eyes. I realize she’s a lesbian and is wondering if i’m a lesbian too because i don’t wear any makeup. When she gets back behind the counter i look at the guy behind me in line and raise my eyebrows like “YIKES!” Then the older couple is paying and i’m up next. I don’t even know what i’m buying. A small box of something. I can tell by the print on the box that it’s something cheap from China or Taiwan. The price is printed right on the package and i want to be ready when it’s my turn to check out so i pull a five dollar bill out of my wallet and some various coins out of the change compartment. I notice that the serial number on the five dollar bill is 420 and show it to the dude behind me. We kind of laugh at that and as i hand the five to the lady behind the counter it falls out of my hand and onto the floor. I look under the counter and pick up a bill and hand it to the lady but it’s a really ratty one dollar bill, not my five. I look again and find my five with the 420 on it and hand it over along with some change.

I leave the store and realize i don’t remember where i parked my car. It’s dark outside, like twilight. I start walking in the direction i think it is and keep pressing the emergency button on the key fob. I walk on to the street i’d first driven down and turned around. There are a bunch of guys playing basketball and i turn around to go back the way i came hoping they don’t notice me because i’m afraid they’ll hurt me. I’m walking up a kind of park or square. The sidewalk is under an arbor that has green vines growing on it. As i’m walking back towards the Home Depot, a van with a speaker on top is driving on the road next to the sidewalk. He’s driving slowly by me. When he gets right next to me he speaks over the loudspeaker and says something including “Sabrina Eyerich” and i wonder if he knows me since he knows Sabrina. I’m still pressing the emergency button on my key fob hoping i’ll find my car and as i walk around the corner of a big brick building like a bank i hear my car alarm go off. Yay! I’m happy. There is a couple sitting in lawn chairs right behind my car and i ask them to move so i can drive away.

I wake up to the sound of loud static. It took a few minutes to realize i was awake and the static was really the sound of heavy rain falling. 

Studying the great white sharks

I know this place. I’ve dreamed here before. It’s a large park or maybe a campus. There’s a very large swimming pool in one section and a large indoor “pond” in another section, separated by a wooded area. There are pine-straw covered paths through the woods and i know if i follow them, they'll lead to a mound with monuments. Maybe a graveyard? 

I’m inside the building that houses the large indoor pond. Normally there are orcas and great whites in the pond. The pond has been partially drained and there are scientists all along the perimeter of the pond with all kinds of equipment. There’s a man scientist closest to me and i ask him what’s going on. He says they’re doing a study on something to do with the pond but i don’t understand what he’s talking about. I ask him if the orcas have been moved somewhere and he says they have. I start to tell him about the great whites that also live in the pond (in case they don’t know) and just then a HUGE great white surfaces right next to us. It’s as big as a whale and startles me by being so close. The scientist man isn’t perturbed at all by it though. There’s a lady scientist over by a wall looking at some ?ultrasound machine and i go over to talk to her. She’s very pretty. I still don’t understand what they’re studying but i’m intrigues by all the equipment and how the pond is all messed up. Not only is it partially drained, there are large mountains of red mud where the bottom has been disturbed and now sticks up out of the water in some places. The whole time i’m trying to keep an eye out for great whites because even though they scare me, they also fascinate me. The lady scientist has a circuit board in her hands. It’s about the size of a pad of paper – 8x12 or so. I see a little spider on it and put out my finger so the spider can get on my hand. The lady scientist is watching intently but doesn’t seem to think it odd that i would want to let the spider walk on me. As we watch the little spider, a straw-like tube appears on one of my fingers and i can’t see the spider anymore. The lady scientist pulls up the little tube – it’s sticky and made out of spider silk – and puts it back on top of the circuit board. The spider is apparently in the little tube.

I walk further around the pond to the next scientist. Another man. He’s younger than the others but still older than me. I think i’m a kid in the dream so he’s maybe in his twenties. He’s got a beard. The sleeves of his white shirt are rolled up and i notice that his beard is the same color as the hair on his arms. I tell him about the swimming pool on the other side of the park and how it also has great whites in it. He seems surprised at this news and i tell him about the time i went swimming in the pool because i didn’t know about the sharks. I tell him how some people swim in the pond too even though we all knew about the great whites. At least in the pool you can see them under the surface but in the pond, they’re hidden by the dark water. I can’t tell if he’s really interested in what i’m saying or if he’s just amused and patronizing me. I like him though and want to stay and watch what he’s doing. I also want to feed the sharks some bread i’ve brought (like they’re ducks or something!) but he tells me to wait and watch. 

As i watch, another man scientist brings a bull into the pond. The bull has longish hair (a winter coat) and is very large, almost mythical seeming. The bull is under the water and harnessed to some poles. I can see it through a glass wall and realize that the bull is for the sharks to feed on.  I ask the scientist if the bull will drown because it doesn’t seem to be having any difficulty being underwater and i don’t want the sharks to eat it while it’s alive.  I’m getting very agitated out of concern for the bull but the sharks ignore it completely. I can't even see the sharks because they'are on the other sides of the pond. The young scientist says that the sharks won’t feed if they’re not hungry which surprises me because i thought they were always hungry. I still want the bull to drown so it won’t suffer (although it doesn’t seem to be suffering any as it stands there waiting to be eaten).

Now i’m in a house, in a kitchen, and wanting to get some toast to take out to the pond (different pond, outside) to take outside to feed the great whites. ?? has a big stack of toast made from a large roundish loaf of bread. That person (i can’t remember if it’s a male or a female) sets it down on a stove burner next to some bacon. It’s breakfast! I ask if i can take the toast to feed the sharks and the person and my mom both say “NO!” at the same time. There’s a man chef in the kitchen too. I’m annoyed by the layout of the kitchen and am being kind of bitchy to mom, asking why there’s the one narrow opening to get in and out. That’s all i remember.

Lots of great whites but they weren’t as frightening to me like they usually are. What is it with feeding bread to the sharks? Even though i never actually got to feed them, i kept seeing the results from other times/dreams when i did feed them. They get all excited like giant carp and clump up and stir up the water so it gets all bubbly and frothy. It's scary but i love to see it.