the shadows lengthen

In the dream, i enter my work building. People are milling around in the lobby and the atmosphere has a festive feel to it. There are DHHS people that i've worked with for years among the people celebrating but when they see me they get quiet and head in a different direction like they're avoiding me. I feel like an interloper. Then i see the words IT’S IN on the bottom line of the directory board and realize that CSC has built the new system and it’s up and running. I have mixed feelings. I’m glad for them because i know how good it feels to implement something so big that’s eaten up the majority of your life for so long but i’m also a little sad because i see clearly (the writing’s on the wall!) that my job will soon come to an end. One of the CSC people that used to work for EDS makes a comment about me coming to work for them but i explain that i’d only come back to EDS to work through the end of the contract and it had already been longer than i’d anticipated.

Intellectually, i know that my job will end but this is the first time i’ve had any indication that it’s on my mind subconsciously. I’ll cross that confounded bridge when i find it. The future is nothing but darkness to me from where i stand in the Now. I expect that as i get closer to that change point there’ll be signs of light around all the doors that potentially will open for me. Or maybe the dream is showing me that if i pay attention there are already chinks of light appearing. Hmm. Nothing says i HAVE to stay through to the end of this contract. I made that agreement with people who aren't even on the contract any more. Interesting point of view, dreaming mind. I will continue to trust that the Universe will take care of my Future.