“That which does not kill us makes us stronger” Friedrich Nietzsche

I’m in the Alexander’s house in Pacifica. It’s filthy chaos just like i remember. Stuart Alexander and i are in the living room. The boards from the hardwood floor and the doors from the kitchen cabinet are still stacked against the wall like i remember. There are black rats everywhere. I can see them peeking out from underneath piles of rubbish. I ask Stuart why they (the family) haven’t done something about it. Some typical lazy response and shoulder shrug. Mrs. Alexander is at the front door. She’s dressed all in black like for a funeral. She seems happy to see me even though i know she never much cared for me. She hugs me and leaves. I return to the living room but Stuart is gone. I notice a ?skimmer like for a swimming pool and decide i’ll try and catch the rats and put them outside. With the skimmer i trap one, then i wrap it in some clothing that’s lying on the ground and pick it up. It immediately pees all down my front and i’m surprised at how much pee that little creature has inside it. I get it outside and let it go but i’m thinking it’s not going to work because there are too many rats and i don’t like the feel or idea of having rat piss on me. I go back in the house and ask Stuart why they don’t bring in some of the feral cats from the back yard and let them catch the rats. I go ?downstairs (there was no downstairs in that house) and go to the bottom drawer of a big bureau. Some of my clothes from when i lived there are still in the drawer and i change out of my rat pee clothes. I decide to take all my clothes out of the drawer and pack them in my suitcase.

Horrible dream. I like rats though so that wasn’t the horrible part. Stuart wasn’t a bad kid (just the youngest of eight or nine). Maybe Mrs. Alexander died? Although i’d be surprised if she’d lived this many years longer (twenty plus years) from when i was there. What a horror. How did i survive that place? The memory of that place makes my feel physically ill.

This seems like a morph of two different houses. Alexander's had a little siamese cat for a while (that used the entire house as it's sandbox) but there were no feral cats. Neighbors of my friends in Raleigh, though, live in a two storey house and have feral cats in their back yard.

Dunno. Just a stress dream i guess. Feel like throwing up.