Pacifica without the Pain

Dream from several weeks (?months) ago - I'm in the Pacifica i go to in dreams. It's got the cerulean ocean and rough surf just like the real one but the rest of it is all dream neighborhood. Narrow lanes with quiant houses on either side, in a grid. I've been up and down those streets so many times that it's almost become a good dream. There's a place, the "docks" where it's kind of a shady place that i don't like to go but that's where the music and restaurants are. Sometimes i've moved back and i'm living in a high-rise apartment complex and i can't lock my door and i'm always afraid people will come and steal my stuff. Pacifica dreams, as much as i love Pacifica, are always stress dreams because of the Alexanders. But last night was different. I don't remember how the dream started, but at some point i came across Mr. Alexander. He looked good and he wasn't drunk. We were going to walk down to the "docks" to get some food. At first i suggested we walk - taking the route i took so many times when i lived with the Alexanders. Down the hill, a right at the bottom and walk down the road until the stairs to the overpass over Hwy 1 come up on the left. Climb the stairs and sometimes just stand on the caged pedestrian walkway watching the cars....  But then, when i thought about having to walk back up that long hill, i thought it would be better if we took a car. He didn't care either was so we took his car. I drove, just like back then, when he'd call home from the bar and want somebody to come drive him home. He had a son and four daughters still living at home when i lived there, but he always asked for me, his "favorite daughter" to come drive him home. Messy. I'd never known an alcoholic before him. Or children of an alcoholic either. But in the dream he was sober.

I drove us to the bottom of the hill but when i got to the bottom i wasn't sure how to get to the "docks" driving because i'd only ever walked down the hill all the years i lived there. I took a left thinking i'd left the dream guide me, and we ended up in an industrial area i'd never been before. Mr. Alexander never said a word while we were driving but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence.

Now we are walking down the row of restaurants and i'm pointing out the different ones that i know are pretty good. He says he just wants to go to the kind of restaurant that has meatloaf. I'm thinking he means a diner so i choose the place that's most like a diner even though it doesn't have the best food. As we're walking up the sidewalk, he's asking me how i've been after so many years have passed. I say something about being fat and he looks at me and says "You have some muffin tops but still look good" and i'm relieved to hear him say it. We get seated at a table and a waitress takes our order.

We finish eating and i excuse myself to go to the restroom. When i come back, Mr. Alexander has paid the check. I'm a bit concerned because i didn't mean for him to get the tab but he seems fine with it so we walk out. It makes me feel relieved to see him looking so good and healthy and not drunk.

Start with Fitzgerald

Fragments of dreams...

June13 I am in a large ?classroom (science, i think) with many former classmates and co-workers. Maybe it's the cafeteria because there are long tables with attached benches. Each of the tables has some houseplants in pots lined up and running down the center of the tables. There are many flying insects in the room and i am concerned that the other people may want to harm the creatures even though they're not dangerous or causing any problems. I see a beautiful blue-green dragonfly on a leaf. I straighten out my arm towards the creature and it flies to me and perches on my outstretched arm. It's a tiny dragon with delicate wings and long graceful neck. Truly a flying dragon. I keep it safe with me and the other people in the room are, at the same time, looking at me like i'm an oddity and admiring the tiny dragon. I'm hoping that their attitude towards all the other insects will change when they see they are harmless and beautiful in their own way.



June14 I'm blogging on facebook and am writing about the plan i've come up with to read my books in groups by authors and as i finish each group, i can give those books away. The though being that i'll read each book one more time and will probably not feel the need to ever read them again. I've decided to begin with my Fitzgerald collection. The Great Gatsby, This Side of Paradise, Tender Is the Night, The Last Tycoon are in the set. In my mind i have decided to read Tender Is the Night last because that's my favorite of F. Scott's writings. With a sinking feeling i realize that after Fitzgerald i will need to read my Dickens collection (David Copperfield, Oliver Twist, Great Expectations, A Tale of Two Cities) and wonder how i'll ever get through with reading all my books because Dickens books aren't easy reads and after those would be the Bronte's (Charlotte,Anne, and Emily) with Wuthering Heights being among my favorites and a very difficult book to read because of the dialects of the characters. But that's my plan and i will read and give away until my book collection is manageable.

I notice there's a post AFTER the one i'm writing that's already on my Facebook and i can't understand how that can be. I look at that entry and the date is well into the future - the year is 23xx (2388?) and i'm debating on whether to delete that posting or fix the date. I begin to read what was posted to help me decide and come to the conclusion that i'll leave it as is.